I finally cleaned out my closet this weekend — something I haven’t done in almost three years.
Some of the clothes I pulled out of there were so foreign-looking to me, I wondered if I was in the wrong closet. Who in their right mind would have bought these pieces?
Apparently, I’m often not in my right mind when I go shopping, and this got me thinking about what my purchases say about me. Do they represent who I want to be rather than who I actually am? Do things look different in the anything-is-possible atmosphere of my favorite stores than they do in real life?
I’ve always told my kids to put me away if they ever catch me buying anything like a Halloween sweater. Although I don’t have anything with a jack o’lantern on it — yet? — here are my equivalents of the ugly holiday sweater and the lessons I learned from them. Some truths are universal; others, I’m afraid, may just be relevant to me. Sigh.
Here are 14 pieces that will never again take up room in my closet.
P.S. I can’t be the only one who has these “what was I thinking?” clothes. Please share yours (literally, we can send them to Ellen Martin to yarn bomb) and let me know what you’ve learned from the clothes hanging in your closet.
Oh Lois…I can’t stop laughing! You are the funniest gal I know! So many styles are in our closest. So many years of different feelings when we bought them, and we all thought we looked fabulous in them! Its my turn now…you are my inspiration!
Send pictures! And save sweaters to send Ellen!
You are hilarious! I also recently did a major clean up of my closet. Goodbye shoulder pads forever!
Ooh, if you have any sweaters you’re still getting rid of, maybe you can send them to Ellen for the yarn-bombing too?
I am still in awe at what a brave and open woman you are, Lois! Photos of you in clothes that are, um, historical (hysterical?) statements on past experiences of shopping with your mind in the etherworld (my name for it!). We’ve all done it, and you’ve elevated it to new heights of fun! My cat stared at me when I broke out laughing at your comment about New Yorkers not being comfortable in bright colors. Seattleites, too. I have black, black, and more black…but they’re all different shades of black and easily hide dirt. Now what does that say about me? You are so fun, Lois! xoxo
I love you, Sally! I’m going to make a conscious effort to stay out of the etherworld (love it!) when I’m shopping from now on. I did keep everything I own that’s black! xo
First I have to say I love the Stevie Nicks sweater – it would languish in my closet, but I love it. Second, the confusing shirt, I have one of those too. I remember it looking so cute at the store, now I have no idea how to put it on. Lastly, glad to see I’m not the only one that apparently goes shopping for someone else and stores their clothes in my closet. That’s the only excuse I can come up with for some of the clothes I’ve cleaned out of my own closet!
I love the idea of shopping for someone else and storing their clothes in my closet! Yes, the Stevie Nicks sweater is still cute — just not for me. Do you want it? And too funny that you have that confusing sweater. It took me 15 minutes to turn it the right way and I was sweating and it was so not worth it. We will have to go shopping together!
Oh Lois, you always make me laugh and smile!
First I have to say it, you look fabulous!
Ok now onto the clothes in my closet, do I have to remind you that I still own, and wear, my overalls? You have seen me, what, every other week with a few exceptions for how long? Pretty much live in flip flops and jeans…guessing fashion advice is something no one will ever knock on my door for! Love you my friend!
Elin, you always look great — even in your overalls. I’m sure I’ve heard the employees at Panera refer to us as “those fashion plates!” And I will knock on your door for advice on ANYTHING — uh, I think I already do! Love you. xo
You crack me up. I’ve got to go through my closet too, but my daughter borrows/steals all the good stuff. I do have a poncho I wear and love though…and it is not plastic. And I am not giving it up! 🙂
I’m sure you are rocking the poncho, Michelle! I, on the other hand, was not! Would love to see a picture!
Loved the old looks. Not one would work today. I fortunately have nothing in my closet that doesn’t work for me. I also only have something like 10 items total that need hanging up. I have one sweater, lots of tee shirts and some tops to go with my jeans. I have two dressy dresses and two casual dresses. I have 5 pairs of jeans, 1 pair of good pants, 5 Lulu Lemons which I wear a lot and that is about it. I only have 3 pairs of tennis shoes, 4 casual sandals and three pairs of better shoes. I am not a clothes person but always manage to look okay in my jeans and tops. Rarely do I go somewhere where I have to dress up and I have 3 things that work. As you can see I am not a consumer of clothes but point me to “treasures” for my house and I am in heaven. Lots and lots of art and decorative pieces fill my house and my soul. Clothes just don’t give me the same feeling.
I think I cut my wardrobe by almost half. I also only wear maybe half a dozen things regularly. I’m sure I’ve bought some clothes simply because they act like “art” in my closet.
OK, my question is, what are you going to do with the clothes you no longer wear? Are you donating, giving, selling?
Already donated most of it. Am sending sweaters to my friend in Niagara Falls to yarn bomb the city! If you have any sweaters you’d like to send, too, just let me know! She’s amazing, and it will be awesome!
I was looking at what I can only refer to as a “mobius” sweater in a shop and asked the salesgirl to help me figure out how to put it on. After telling me how much she loved that very top, she struggled, tugged and pulled until eventually, we mutually agreed the situation was hopeless. The arms were on upside down, the sides were over my head…it was a disaster.
And yet, I bought it.
Never wore it, not even once.
Lesson here is, I should never be allowed out shopping on my own.
HILARIOUS! Especially because you still bought it! I would have totally done the same thing — why do we do these things?? Would love to see a picture if you have one!
Luckily, the evidence was sent off to a charity shop, where it’s undoubtedly giving its new owner(s) years of frustration, so luckily, no photos!
Too funny!
What a hoot! I should do this in my closet. I know I’d see a pattern to the clothes I’ve historically purchased… It might be disturbing though. A and why am I holding onto all my “skinny clothes”?
Who knew closet cleaning could be such a lesson in psychology and sociology Yes, mine was definitely disturbing to me!
Well, I tried looking at the clothes, but honestly Lois, I couldn’t get over how great you look! It’s in the smile, the step, the eye twinkle. You can pass anything off with those. 🙂 That said, yeah, some of those should definitely go….
You are so sweet! And, yes, those clothes definitely had to go! xo
Lois, you are way too funny! Lol’ d at all of your pics with comments. See you in class today! You better show up!!
Thank you for reading and for making Jazzercise so much fun!
You’ve been rummaging around my closet, haven’t you?!
I laughed so hard when I recognized ‘my’ stuff that I snorted coffee out my nose. Good lessons; 1) get rid of clothes NOW, and 2) don’t drink coffee when I’m reading your posts. 😀
Thanks for the laughs, and the inspiration. It’s time to purge AND have a heart-to-heart with myself about my choices. I believe I have some ruffles calling my name from my closet right now…
THANKS!
I love that we “share” a closet! I can tell you that I feel so much better with the ruffles and shoulder pads gone — I’m just a little afraid of what I may replace them with! P.S. Maybe coffee stains will give you a good excuse for getting rid of some of your questionable pieces! Thanks for sharing. xo
You’re killing me with the poncho. You are a good sport to share this pics with us.
I’m still kind of upset to realize I’m not Stevie Nicks 🙂
Great piece! But you look pretty cute in a couple of those outfits. :). Also, I must disagree about the poncho. I bought one last summer and love it! Maybe it’s the SF hippie in me. I live about 30 miles from the epicenter of the summer of love.
Happy New Year!
I am a hippie at heart and really wanted to look good in that poncho! Would love to see yours!
A friend of mine used a very ‘zen’ approach to cleaning out – if it no longer brings you joy it needs to go. This philosophy really does help. Of course, the laughter over old clothing choices could be misconstrued as joy…
Ha ha! I read that zen book, which I actually loved. I did feel pretty joyful, cleaning out that mess!
This is hilarious Lois. Love the pics! It’s so freeing to lighten the load.
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year to you, too! You lighten the calorie count, I’m lightening the clothing count!
Oh this was so fun! I especially like this: I am not Stevie Nicks. I will need therapy for this revelation. Ha! I have so many what was I thinking… and I keep culling!
Houston, I have a problem. I have clothes that are older than Spunik. My problem is two fold; space and sentimentality. I have three closets full of my clothes, except for a small area tucked in a corner which holds my husband’s small stash. I can explain; we’ve been married almost 65 years and ,amazingly, he has never needed anything new . I have been known for sneaking something old out, & something new in. Now to the actual lift-off/out. I know where I was living, the store where I purchased, the wedding ,funeral, party, dinner, baptism, how many lbs. I lost/gained ,vacations planned, who was president,whatever ,you name it, all related to each item of clothing .I am too attached to them & I know it..If you do discover life on Mars would you consider tacking a separate shuttle & take one small step for me & drop some off. I would be willing to reimburse you for handling this pay-load.
BTW, Lois, how come your husband didn’t throw away that green sweater for you?Y
Hey, I used to crochet ponchos back in 1971. I even sold some! But I would never, ever, wear one today. But I do have a couple of blouses from the 1990’s with shoulder pads, and I wear them with…um, pride.
I acutally really like the Stevie Nicks one ☺?
What you failed to show us was the black, flowing bar sleeve “ Rhiannon” dress that proves you still are Stevie Nicks….?
Bat, not bar