I got a ticket for talking on my cell phone while driving today.
This wouldn’t be the hugest deal except for two embarrassing facts: 1) that I am the cell phone Nazi in my house, always lecturing my husband and kids not to text and drive, not to email and drive, and to only talk and drive if they use their headset; 2) that they all have headsets, to start with, and I don’t.
Michael has offered to go buy me a headset more times than I’d like to admit, and I always tell him not to bother — that I’ll pick one up next time I’m out. I know this is no excuse but I rarely talk on the phone in the car, and the only conversations I was ever able to have on my old headset involved me moving my head in every direction and yelling, “Can you hear me now?” so it just didn’t seem like a priority.
Anyway, this morning I set out TO THE DMV (!) to get my license renewed. I had to do it in person this time because I guess it’s been 10 years and I was required to get a new picture, take a vision test and give a fingerprint. Although my license wasn’t expiring until my birthday in January, I didn’t procrastinate this time and I even made an appointment so I would avoid the lines. I was right on top of things. Ha! I wrote down directions from their website, and headed down the 805.
Everything was fine until I exited at Clairemont Mesa Boulevard. The directions said to go west but I was absolutely convinced I was supposed to go east. I remembered driving there before, and the thoughts going through my head went something like “Stupid website,” “Directions are always wrong online,” “Why can’t anyone get anything right?”
So I went east – far east. Almost China east. But I still couldn’t believe I was wrong. I could even picture the building on the left. So I called my parents to ask them to look up the directions on their computer. We started chatting about the kids and Thanksgiving and … suddenly I noticed flashing lights behind me in my rearview mirror. OMG! It was a police car and those lights were for me! I slammed the “end call” button and threw my phone down. When it rang again, I ignored it – sorry, mom and dad – and carefully pulled over to a safe place.
When the policewoman came over, I immediately said I was sorry, and went into a whole explanation about how I never talk on my phone in the car but I was on my way to the DMV and was lost and was calling for directions. “It’s okay,” she said, quietly, but proceeded to take my license back to her car anyway.
While she was processing my information, I had a real “aha” moment. I realized that I honestly had no idea how long that policewoman had been following me. That information took me a while to process. We could have been caravanning for miles – I just didn’t know because I was obviously so distracted with my phone call. This was really shocking to me, even though I had made everyone in my family watch the Oprah show all about the dangers of distracted driving. (And, head down in shame, I had even signed Oprah’s pledge – although, to be fair, that was about texting while driving, and I was NOT doing that.)
The officer came back with my ticket, and I asked her if she could please give me directions to the DMV, too, since I still didn’t have them. She pointed me straight ahead and told me to drive safely. Then, she came back out of her car again to tell me she had made a mistake and I had to make a u-turn! See? No one knows how to get to the DMV!
But that’s not the point. I was totally in the wrong, and I learned a lot of hopefully life-changing lessons from this experience:
* Talking on the cell phone while driving really is distracting and can be dangerous.
* It is important to practice while what I preach. If I believe in something strongly enough to be yelling at everyone else to do it, I’d better be doing it myself. (Politicians should take notice of this, too – although that’s a whole other post.)
* I have to be open to the possibility that I’m not always right. Hmmm …
The irony here is that the address of the traffic court on my ticket turned out to be the building I had remembered as the DMV! I apparently had never been to the DMV on Clairemont Mesa Boulevard before but had definitely been to the traffic court there when I contested a ticket for not stopping before making a right on red out of the Ralph’s parking lot. (For the record, I saw the policeman there and definitely stopped before making my right. The judge said he believed I believed I stopped and, $300+ later, when I asked the bailiff if anyone ever wins against a police officer, he just sighed and shook his head.)
Anyway, although I was nervous about telling Michael because I thought I’d never hear the end of it, he just laughed – and so did Sara. Alex said, “That sucks.” But, really, it doesn’t. I’m grateful for the warning.
I just hope any future wake-up calls don’t come while I’m driving — because I won’t be answering them.
Oh Lois!!! I am sooooo sorry. You’re right though. There is a lesson to be learned in this one. HOWEVER, there aren’t many more awful feelings than looking up in your rear view mirror and seeing those yucky red lights :-(((…. I think you need to add a GPS to your holiday wish list!
Thanks, Debbie! Unfortunately, I really don’t think I would have even listened to a GPS — I was absolutely 100% sure I was right about the directions! Lots of lessons learned with this one!
I have to admit I am sometimes guilty of exactly what you did, Lois. And, I always worry about my kids texting or talking on their phones in the car, even tho’ we’ve had those discussions. I also found that when I talked on my blu tooth, I would lift my head to talk into the speaker, or keep saying “huh? would you say that again?” VERY distracting. So, I don’t use it anymore. I often tell my family that when I’m in the car I will not answer the phone…and I try not to, but I’m wondering who’s calling if my phone rings. I’m going to forward your e-mail to all 3 of our girls…just to reinforce what I’m often lecturing them about!!
Thanks for sharing, Sheryl. It is really shocking how distracting the phone is, and the best thing we could all do is throw them in our trunks while we’re driving!
AWESOME! not that you got a ticket, per se, but that you so openly admit the mistake and use it as an opportunity to get an important message out! (and tell a good story while you’re at it!!)
Thanks, Jennifer. I appreciate the support!
Lois – I love your honesty writing about this. What a sick feeling seeing the lights in your rear view mirror. But many lessons learned and I appreciate your sharing them with us! (They got you leaving Ralph’s, too?? Yikes!)
Thanks, Jean. Totally sick feeling! Hopefully my little experience will prevent someone else from having the same one!
This is perfect! We all need wake up calls to remind us to pay attention to what we’re doing at the moment. I had a similar experience many years ago driving the kids to preschool in Solana Beach. Usually when I went, it was during morning rush hour so the traffic on Lomas Santa Fe moved rather slowly. That day, I was going at a different time for a special event and there was NO traffic and I was running late so I drove as fast as the light traffic permitted me to. . . all the way down to Rios . . . down to the preschool. When I parked suddenly I noticed a motorcycle cop parking next to me – horrible sinking feeling in stomach. He proceeded to inform me how I was driving 50 on LSF and 40 on Rios – I couldn’t believe it!!! Not me – the mom who always insisted on seatbelts, carseats, yadayadayada. But I was on auto pilot that day. He kindly wrote me up for only 1 incident instead of 2 so I wasn’t given a reckless driving ticket. (I begged while sobbing – embarrassed that there were 3 small children in the car). So – I was 30 minutes late to the event I was speeding to get to – instead of the 3 minutes it would have been if I had been paying attention. LESSON LEARNED -I don’t speed anymore.
Thanks for sharing that story, Linda. And, yes, I was late for my appointment too and would have been early if I had just followed the directions in the first place!! I guess we all have to learn our lessons the hard way sometimes!
Poor Lois!
At least you won’t ever do it again. Just shake it off — you don’t have to feel guilty for making an honest mistake,
Love,
Patty
Thanks, Patty! 🙂
I am cracking up! so many of us can relate to the whole DMV experience, directions from the computer, interacting with police, dealing w/ tickets, etc.
well written, as usual – good points with plenty of humor thrown in : )
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Thanks, Nancy! It makes me feel better that other people can relate to all of this! Happy Thanksgiving to you, too!
Lois, Hanukah headset present to yourself.
Ha ha! Excellent idea!
Thanks for sharing so honestly Lois. I know it is a reminder to me to practice what I preach as well. Just like Oprah always says, the universe provides us with a lesson to be learned and shared in each event. I vote for the Hanukah headset as well, if Michael hasn’t already picked it up for you!
I think I may end up getting one from each member of my family! And, agree, this was a big lesson to learn and I’m glad I heard it while it was still a whisper!
Yours was a wake up call for all of us. I’m sure many of us have been tempted to take that one call while driving thinking we’ll only talk a minute. After hearing your story, I’m going to shut the phone off….I got the message. Thank you for sharing and happy holidays.
Thanks so much, Allison, and happy holidays to you too!
Yes, Lois, I do believe this is one of those mom things of practice what you preach 😉 But I am sorry your lesson cost you $300!!!
I guess that’s what they mean by putting your money where your mouth is!
Lois, do you still have the bluetooth that we got in OZ? If so, email me your address. I designed a keychain that you MUST have!!
Can’t wait to see it, thanks! Sending you my address right now!