Today is my dad’s 85th birthday, and I am so lucky to be able to celebrate with him. We’ll do what we both like to do most – go out to lunch together (with my mom, too, of course!) and spend a couple of hours talking about my kids, politics, movies, work, the Yankees, whatever’s happening in the news, and more about my kids.
I’m proud to admit I’m still a daddy’s girl. Although I’ve now been with my husband almost twice as long as I lived with my dad, my dad was the first important man in my life – the one who set the tone, the one every other guy had to live up to. “You are your father’s daughter,” my mother always sighed as I was growing up. At those times, I raised my eyebrow and gave her that look – especially since she tended to say it when I was being stubborn or opinionated or unwilling to give up fighting for something I wanted. Now, I simply smile and say, “Thank you.”
My father taught me everything from riding a bike to doing the dead man’s float. We played grocery store on the living room floor so I could practice addition and subtraction, perfected the box step (with me standing on his feet) at the Campfire Girls father/daughter dance, and pulled the lever together in the voting booth. He also taught me how to drive, but those lessons were not our finest moments. By the time we stomped, separately, back into the house, we’d no longer be talking to each other – much to my mom’s amusement.
Other lessons came more naturally. My dad instilled a deep love of reading and music in me, for which I will always be grateful. I smile when I see how happy a beautiful song can make him feel or how excited he gets when quoting from a book that moved him in some way – because I feel the same way, and can’t imagine a life without books and music. Most of all, he taught me – by example, not lecture – what it means to be a good person.
There is no one more honest or fair than my father, which made him a lifelong friend to the boys he grew up with on the Lower East Side of Manhattan, and both a beloved high school history teacher and assistant principal. He may not embrace change easily – we still tease him about his reluctance to get a cell phone, computer or DVR – but he is completely open-minded about people, and is a true champion for human rights. He donates to all kinds of non-profit organizations, is genuinely interested in what others have to say, and he listens.
Because he’s such a good listener, he’s always made me feel that what I’m saying is important – at least to him. And because of that, he’s always made me feel that I’m important. There’s no greater gift than that.
“Fathers are their daughters’ first experience of male love, compassion, kindness, anger and cruelty,” says Dr. Meg Meeker in her book, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters. “These early experiences are imprinted on a girl’s brain and heart. For the rest of her life, every experience she has with a male is filtered through her experiences with her father.”
My experiences with my father taught me that there’s nothing more valuable than family, that a sense of humor is vital, and that I can do anything. So, although my dad would unquestionably have acted like Papa Bear if the situation warranted it, he never really had to because I had too much self-respect to waste my time with guys who didn’t treat me the way he had shown me I deserved. He had already set the bar – high – for the kind of man I’d choose to spend my life with. That man showed up during my sophomore year of college in the form of Michael, whose personality was nothing like my father’s – but who shared his integrity, his passion, his generosity, his strong work ethic, his love of laughter and his gigantic heart. We’ll be married 32 years this summer.
I always felt bad that, with two daughters, my dad was the odd one out – although he never seemed anything other than proud of his three girls. He would encourage my mom, my sister and I to have our girl time and, for the past few years, he’s even sent us off on an annual spa weekend for all of our January birthdays.
Having pretty much perfected the role of father, it was easy for my dad to transfer those skills when we added a “grand” in front of his title. He has made each of his four grandchildren (three of whom are boys, so he’s never again had to go to the restroom or fitting room alone) feel as special as he did his daughters, and they have returned the feeling, always eager to spend time with him, with the older two still calling him from college just to catch up.
Being a daddy’s girl has gotten a bad rap over the years but, based on Dr. Meeker’s findings, it’s really what every father should aim to make his daughters. That doesn’t mean spoiling them rotten or turning them into princesses. Rather, it means encouraging them to reach for the stars because they know their dad is there to hold the ladder, catch them if they fall and love them no matter what.
Yes, I am a daddy’s girl. But what I’m most proud of is that I’m my daddy’s girl.
Wonderful article
Dads hold the ladder while you climb and are there to catch you if you fall.
The sentiments and writing are beautiful. I just e-mailed to my husband to reinforce the wonderful father he is!
I always was so excited (and still am) for girls with great dads. I would have liked that experience but my dad wasn’t one of the good ones. However, to see others with these cool life experiences is good enough. Fun to hear the stories. Thanks for sharing!
Your tribute to your dad is beautiful. I’m sure he is very proud of the woman you are.
Love this tribute to your father and the wonderful way in which he moves in the world. Thank you for sharing!
Hi Lois, your “daddy’s girl” article triggered the wonderful memories of my own Daddy. He was 40 y.o. when I was born in San Francisco in 1929. Yes, it was the depression, he was out of work so while my mother worked I was with him daily. We spent wonderful time together sightseeing and other playful activities. Lois’s “daddy’s girl” response is similar to the time my dad and I were riding the streetcar. A gentleman, sitting nearby asked me, “are you a native daughter?” I answered, NO, I’M MY DADDY’S DAUGHTER!”
Lois, please pass along Birthday Greeting to Irving from me.
Beverly Stone
Beautiful Lois. I had the same kind of Dad. He was my man for so many years. He died 8 years ago and I am reminded daily about how much I am like him in so many good ways.
Love this tribute Lois! Happy Birthday to your father!! I too have a wonderful father. We are truly blessed to have such wonderful family relationship such as these.
Beautiful. I also had a great Daddy. Being the only child I was naturally the light of his life. He’s been gone for years but I know he’s still looking after me.
I just read this again and I forgot that I had commented when you last posted this story. It touched my heart, just like it did the first time. Hug your Dad for me this Father’s Day.
No wonder you are the extraordinary person you are! You had a running start with your dad, who sounds pretty extraordinary himself.
Wonderful tribute to a man who loves his “girl”.
So beautiful – you are one lucky lady – and I’m sure this will pass on to your girls – I’m hoping for a clone of your dad for my next life…
lots of love – which you already have…!
“Rather, it means encouraging them to reach for the stars because they know their dad is there to hold the ladder, catch them if they fall and love them no matter what.” Lois, I have never heard it put any better. So glad your dad helped you reach for the stars – I bet he is so proud of all your have accomplished.
It sounds like you have every reason to be proud of being a Daddy’s Girl. This was a beautiful testament to your relationship. I love the photographs, too.
Great pics, great memories, and thanks for the book title / details. Hooray for your dad being so supportive of you.
I love this tribute to your dad who sounds quite a bit like my dad. It is such a blessing to be raised with so much love and support.
Being a daddy’s girl is great! I laugh about the driving lesson comment. It seems like it should be an easy thing – with no arguments or problems – and it’s not. Best part about dad’s (parents) though – you can get mad at each other and it’s gone soon after. And I am like you, I love talking about my kids with my parents. They are always so eager to hear – genuinely. Great post!
Every little girl needs to be a daddy’s girl.
What a wonderful post about a wonderful man. We were blessed to have such good, strong, loving fathers to shape us into good, strong, loving daughters, wives and mothers.
You really ARE lucky to be a Daddy’s girl! And how wonderful for a man to really get how to make his daughter feel that way.
I had to read this again because I loved it so much the 1st time. I only became a daddy’s girl after he passed. I think he would have liked me to have been one earlier, but not in the cards Your dad and you have such a special bond.
Beautiful post Lois. We were both blessed with good fathers and we will always be Daddy’s girls.
I am so glad you wrote this, and happier that you can. He is a true blessing in your life, and I can see you truly are your “father’s daughter” xxoo
It doesn’t matter how old we get, we will always see our parents as our protectors and they will always see us as their babies. This is a wonderful post to share with the world what an attentive father looks like….love it
My father died when I was three years old. I have maybe two faint memories of him. So happy for you. My husband is a GREAT father to our two daughters and our son–so I live that relationship vicariously through them. Blessings.
What a loving tribute to your dad! It’s no wonder that you’re your daddy’s girl ~ Sounds like a wonderful man! Happy birthday!
How beautiful…and how fortunate you are to have one another! Hang on to every precious minute (which I know you are doing).
There’s nothing wrong with being a daddy’s girl. I was raised by my grandparents and I was definitely Grandpa’s girl!
How lucky you are to still have your Dad. It looks like he’s had a good long life, too!
All January birthdays?? How very fun!
Wonderful, touching story. You and your father have enjoyed a rare and special relationship and the best part is that you recognize the beauty of it.
Kimberly XO
I was totally a daddy’s girl when my dad was alive. There is just something so special about that bond and losing it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. Love your daddy hard each day while you have him!
Happy birthday to your special Dad!
I was so close with my dad as a small girl then my mother moved us far away from him and it was years of missing him before we connected again. Once we did it was like we were never apart. I miss him so much now.
I buy my son-in-laws and my son every book I can find on fathering daughters and I love that they take it so seriously.
My dad was barely around when I was a kid, so we aren’t close now.
Awe what a sweet post. That is awesome that you are so close to your dad and have a good relationship – I wish I had that with my dad before he passed away.
What a wonderful bond! You lift each other up and that is so incredibly cool.
I’m a Daddy;s girl too #noshameinmygame .. In the world we live in I don’t believe Fathers get the credit they deserve
That is so sweet. I’s awesome that you two are so close! It sounds like you learned a lot from him.
I’m very much a Daddy’s girl too- and it’s a wonderful thing!
So cute! And happy birthday to him! I am actually a momma’s girl but I do love my dad!
You are lucky to have such a close bond with your father. I’ve always wanted to be a daddy’s girl and never had that kind of relationship with mine.
Nothing wrong at all with being a daddy’s girl – you are showing your love and this is a beautiful story. Many blessings.
I am a daddy’s girl too and will be to the end of the earth. What great fond memories you have of you father.
Sounds like you’re very lucky. Sounds like your daddy is too. 😉
I’m envious of the relationship you have with your Dad. I see this same unconditional love and encouragement flow from my husband to our daughters and am so happy they have such a special bond.
What a lovely tribute to a great father!
Love this beautiful tribute to your father and the wonderful way in which he imprinted memories in your life. Thank you for sharing! I am also a daddy’s girl 🙂
I am a daddy’s girl too! Love your story and tribute to your dad.
He sounds like a great man! What a nice tribute to him. Thanks for sharing.
Such a beautifully written post. Thank you for sharing your love for your dad.
That’s such a sweet post about your dad. Happy Birthday to your Dad! It’s such a special relationship to have so much love between a father and daughter.
Love this. Do all you can with your daddy. My dad sadly passed in September and he was 85. I wasn’t ready for him to go, but he was. SAD
Awww, I just loved this post because I was also a daddy’s girl but I lost my own dad 3 years ago and it still hurts to this day.
What a beautiful tribute to your father. A relationship like that is worth so much!