paul rudd and leslie mann on hemorrhoids, wood chippers and “this is 40”

Hanging out with Leslie Mann and Paul Rudd at the This Is 40 press junket was a blast! As funny as they are onscreen – which is hilarious – they are just as much fun in person. Paul Rudd is adorable and Leslie Mann is someone I’d like to be friends with.

As we sat around the table, my fellow bloggers and I attempted to ask questions in between laughs. Because I was the oldest one there – by a lot, sigh – Paul and Leslie zeroed in on me for some real discussion about middle age. 

Q: The movie rings so true, it’s like you filmed in our house. 

Leslie Mann:  I’m happy about that. I’m happy that people can leave the theater feeling like they’re not the only ones going through some of those things and they don’t have to feel terrible about themselves after.  Like when I go and watch movies where couples are perfect couples, which I hate, and then I leave the movie thinking that something’s terribly wrong with me. You can leave this movie feeling like you’re okay and something’s terribly wrong with Pete and Debbie.

The one thing that we have always wanted to convey in both this movie and in Knocked Up was a married couple that was dealing with things that we are dealing with in a way that you don’t see in movies all that much but are realistic and heightened and funny. It isn’t our life; it’s more like everybody’s life. It feels emotionally truthful to what we go through, but it’s also truthful to what all of my girlfriends are going through right now and what they struggle with. There is no winner, and there’s no real loser, but you understand both points of view equally. You like and dislike aspects of the personality within each of us.

Lois Alter Mark: Speaking of which, I love when you talk about how you would kill each other, because I have to admit there are moments I have felt the same way.

LM:  Really?  

LAM: I love my husband, and we’ve been married for more than 30 years. But there are times you go, “Hmm.”  So, how would you actually kill your spouse? 

LM:  Sometimes when I’m home alone – because it’s rare that I’m home alone – I think, “What … where … wait … Judd has arranged for the kids to be out of the house, and he’s not in the house, so it’s easier for the hit man to come in and kill me.” I watch a lot of Dateline, and I know that happens a lot. I haven’t really thought about murdering him, but I do think he might try to murder me. I don’t know how he would do it.

LAM: I hope it wouldn’t be the wood chipper. That’s pretty bad.

Paul Rudd:  It’s certainly fast, but you’re hoping to get caught if you do that because there’s a lot of clean-up involved.

Q: On that note, there’s a scene in which you ask Leslie to check to see if you have a hemorrhoid. How awkward was that?

PR: It was embarrassing and vulnerable but it was funny and it worked in the context of the movie and the character. When we first rehearsed it, Judd said, “That’s what you’re going to be remembered for,” and I shrugged it off. There was never a question I wouldn’t do it. But afterward, I kind of thought, “Oh, my God, what did I just do?”  I kept thinking about the scene in Fast Times at Ridgemont High when Judge Reinhold gets caught masturbating by Phoebe Cates and how now that’s all I think about when I see him in anything.

Q: How do you each re-connect with your spouse? Do you go away for a weekend alone together?

LM:  Literally, it takes less than 24 hours to come back together. We could both just be losing our minds and then we go to a hotel nearby and then just rent a porno — no, not really! — but we’ll rent a movie, eat dinner and just hang out together. We’re grounded again. It doesn’t take more than that.

PR:  Honestly, both my wife and I are psyched if our kids are asleep before 9:00. That means that we can actually just watch TV and then, one or both of us will fall asleep within an hour.  And it’s great.

Q: Did either of you have the “I’m turning 40” freak-out in real life?

LM:  Yes. I have lunches or get-togethers with my girlfriends who are the same age, and sometimes those meetings are really hard, and we’re all crying, and we all hate our husbands, and we all want to run away, and we all dream about some better life. Then some days we get together, and we’re all really happy with our husbands and love our kids and are happy with everything. It’s literally like riding this wave. We’re just going with it. And I don’t know what that means or where it’s going to take me. I’ve been asking some older women when that ends, and they say it doesn’t end, that it only gets worse, to enjoy this time right now, which is weird.

PR (to me!):  You’re just down there nodding your head, going “yeah …” 

LAM: Because it’s true!

LM:  Really?  Okay …

LAM: It’s good. It’s just some days are, you know, better than others.

LM: Yes, so you just have to ride the wave, right?

LAM: Yessssss … you can ride the wave.

LM:  You just go with it?  Okay, but it is a weird time, and it seemed to happen right at 40.

LAM: Well, mine happened at 50.  

LM:  Oh, really?

LAM: Yeah. Sorry, you’re a little early.  

LM:  So, you were totally fine up until 50?

LAM: I was pretty good up until then.  

PR:  Mine happened at 20.

Special thanks to Melinda Kim Photography for the great junket photos!

Read Lois’ interview with Judd Apatow here, and “40 Things This is 40 Gets Right About Middle Age” here.