Julia Child and I have so much in common, we could be soul sisters ā if you disregard the fact that I donāt cook.
This revelation was as surprising to me as it probably is to you, but I felt such a kinship to her in chapter 9 of Julia Child Rules: Lessons on Savoring Life that I almost felt like I should be whipping up a Tarte Tatin. (No surprise that I didnāt.)
Julia Child Rules, which comes out next week, is the latest book in my friend Karen Karboās āKick Ass Womenā series. To celebrate its launch, she asked if I, a Kick Ass Blogger (ha ha ha!), would pick one of the nine rules in the book and ālive like Juliaā for a week.
At first, I was a little wary because, as you may know, my kids used to ask what the food man was bringing for dinner when we lived in Manhattan. Iāve used my dishwasher as a file cabinet and been on a first-name basis with the people behind the counters of my local take-out places. You would never mention me in the same breath as Julia Child.
But, as I discovered reading chapter 9, well, maybe you would.
Although I was intrigued by rules like āLive with abandonā and āLearn to be amused,ā I decided to go with chapter 9, āMake the world your oyster (stew),ā since thatās exactly my philosophy about travel ā minus the stew, of course.
As it turns out, I couldnāt have picked a more appropriate chapter.
Because I was heading off to the TMS Family Travel conference last week, it seemed like the perfect time to embrace that rule and try to live like Julia.
Now, this was a conference I had never attended before and I didnāt know anyone who was going. I was also the oldest blogger there.
I was a little nervous, so I turned to Julia because, according to the book, āNo one told Julia that middle-aged women werenāt allowed to hog the spotlight, or that if they did, they could only do it if they passed as someone much younger.ā
This was very empowering to me, and instead of sitting quietly in the background, I volunteered to go on stage for a magic trick and I conducted an interview on video, two activities which are way outside my comfort zone.
And, in an attempt to surpass Julia as āthe Best Middle-Aged Woman Ever,ā I went one step further.
I had to miss the biggest sightseeing day of the conference in order to get to the Social Good Summit in New York and I was concerned that they would all forget about me and not invite me to the next one because I was leaving early. I loved this conference and couldnāt let this happen.
I jokingly (but not really) told our amazing host, Michelle Blackley of the Niagara Tourism & Convention Corporation, that I would print out a photo of myself that she could bring along with the group and Tweet some pictures so it would be like I was there with them. She thought that was a great idea, and here are some of the photos which I re-Tweeted and which got a lot of exposure. Thank you, Julia, for the inspiration.
āMiddle-age was the time of Juliaās life,ā according to the book. Yes! This is the message I always try to get across to women. In fact, itās why I created Midlife at the Oasis. Since turning 50, Iāve hugged koalas in Australia, studied with Martha Beck in Africa and won a couple of writing awards.
Like Julia, I am working my ass off but canāt wait to get to that āworkā as soon as I wake up in the morning. I am as passionate about writing as she was about cooking. It took her 284 pounds of white flour to master Pain Francais, and it may take me 284 drafts to write my own masterpiece de resistance, but thatās okay because āIt was this kind of dedication and enthusiasm that kept her grounded and optimistic about the future,ā writes Karen.
I canāt think of a better way to approach midlife.
I completely relate to Karenās observation that āHer hands have age spots, and yet Julia still thinks what she has to say has merit.ā Although my children may not always agree, Iām convinced that wisdom ā when you can remember it ā does come with age, and you provide a great service by sharing it.
For better or worse, I also relate to the fact that āJulia spoke her mind, even when it was out-of-step with the times, even when she was wrong.ā
I sort of did this with the video interview I told you about. I was interviewing the very knowledgeable Alex de LāArbre of Ski.com and I wanted to make the conversation personal and chatty so I started talking about my daughter, the snowboarder, and how she could be an aspiring Gold Medalist like Shaun White. Really? She hasnāt been on a snowboard since she was maybe 10 years old but it sounded so natural that I got caught up in the story and just kept going. It seemed like something Julia would do.
One of my favorite lines in the chapter, and one that really resonates with me, is this one: āOf Juliaās many stellar qualities ā her optimism, stamina, determination, and loyalty ā living with tortured ambivalence was not one of them.ā
This week, I was invited to a couple of events that would have been fun but would also have taken away time from people I donāt get to spend a lot of time with. Rather than endlessly debate what I should do, I asked myself, āWhat would Julia do?ā I skipped the events, enjoyed my time with my friends and never looked back to stress over whether or not I had made the right decision. This was so liberating.
Julia was 54 when she was crowned Our Lady of the Ladle. Iām 54 and am not sure what title Iām pursuing. Our Lady of the Label Sticking Out of Her Shirt?
I want to use words the way Julia used butter ā to add richness, depth, comfort, joy.
I may not be able to bake her Queen of Sheba cake but I can step forward to lead an amazing life just like āJulia did, wielding her eccentric personality and joie de vivre like the fright knife she waved over her head on The French Chef.ā
Now, that’s one recipe I actually canĀ follow.
Here’s why I love Julia: Check out 6:57 when she says, “If no one is watching, you can take the sides of your hands and shape it together.” Crying laughing!
“I want to use words the way Julia used butter ā to add richness, depth, comfort, joy.” Beautiful, like you. xo
Love you, my friend. xo
you were totally sitting right next to me at the whirlpool jets š
I knew I felt all warm and cozy!
I love Julia! And I think your photo bombing was a brilliant idea! Nothing better then being on two places at once!
Ha ha! They were such good sports about it!
I especially love that you chose friends-time over a session or gathering or whatever and didn’t stress about that.
I say, always choose friend-time if it’s an option.
Love your attitude!
Thanks so much! The older I get, the more I realize that nothing is more important than the people in your life.
I could not agree with this sentiment more!
I love Julia Child.
Me, too!
Delightful video of Julia….one of my favorite chefs. For Christmas 4 years ago I made her Boeuf Bourguignon… it took me over 4 hours… but never tasted anything so delicious before or since…. and I love to cook.
I love your idea of becoming a “Flat Patty” or in your case “Flat Lois.” A great way to be present, yet not.
Keep the writing coming…. I am enjoying it very much. Hugs to you.
Isn’t that video hilarious?! I am very impressed that you made her Boeuf Bourguignon. I volunteer to be a tester if you ever do it again! Thanks so much for the nice words, Vicky, and hugs right back to you.
We love Julia Child! Very inspiring – there is a lot to learn from her.
She is awesome!
I just spent a week traipsing around D.C. One of the places I visited was the American History Museum. Have you been? There is a whole section about Julia. We sat and watched a video of a much younger Emeril Lagasse cooking up a boil for Julia. The littles and I enjoyed it š
Wasn’t that so much fun?! We also visited her kitchen at the Smithsonian, which was so cool. Maybe you’ll raise a future Julia- or Emeril!
I’m heading to a conference tomorrow and one of my best friends can’t make it last minute. I totally want to print out her picture and take photos around the conference with “her” in them. š
Take pictures. She will feel so good that you included her!
What a great idea, and a great rule to pick! I’m not even sure that age is necessary to try to follow Julia’s examples – I’m a thirty-something and I would probably be just as outside my comfort zone as you were! I’m inspired by your challenge – might be a good exercise for all of us.
Totally agree. Following Julia’s example is a great exercise for everyone — it was just so interesting that I picked a chapter that focused so much on middle age. Next time you’re faced with stepping outside your comfort zone, just go for it and know that Julia and I are right there with you!
“I want to use words the way Julia used butter ā to add richness, depth, comfort, joy.” Just so you know, you do. š
Seriously, you just made me cry. That means so much to me. Thank you. xo
I think of Julia Child as the patron saint of late-bloomers. I love how she inspired your adventurous week!
Thank you! I love that — “the patron saint of late-bloomers.” Will have to share that with Karen Karbo!
I love the photo idea–so perfect; and they really worked it. Missed our Cronut this time around, but sounds like you had a great time with everything you’ve been doing.
Estelle
We will have to make a Cronut date next time I’m here. This week has been crazy! They definitely worked the photo idea — they were awesome! Miss you, and hope you had the best birthday! xo
I loved Julia and I love you. I love her spirit and yours. I love her cute little sayings and I love yours. Get the picture? You were the perfect person to write this. Your personality comes through with every word, and I think wherever Julia is, she is proud of you and thanks you for your honesty, laughter and spirit.
Oh, Cathy, thank you so much. I love you, and hope you have an amazing trip. So glad I got to see you even though it definitely wasn’t nearly long enough. xo
I love Julia! The photo idea was totally awesome!
Thank you! Totally Julia-inspired!
Love your post and you are so funny! I was always a fan of Julia and wish I was 1% the cook she was. She certainly was one inspiring woman. Thanks for the uplifting and humorous read š
Thanks so much! If I was 1% the cook Julia was, I would be a gazillion times the cook I am now!
I love your opening line. It’s the point of Julia Child Rules, isn’t it? That she has qualities we share or can cultivate to enjoy the live we’re leading? I enjoyed the photo touring too.
Thanks, and absolutely agree — everyone can live like Julia. No cooking involved!
Living without tortured ambivalence. Now that’s a mantra I can use! More than almost anyone else, Julia was always her own person and everyone loved her for it. So many lessons to learn from the ole gal even if we don’t know our way around the kitchen!
I know — that line kills me! No wonder we all loved Julia!
Wait a minute. You don’t like to cook? I just don’t know what to do with this information š I guess when you come to Ottawa, I’ll be Julia Child in the kitchen and you can be Julia Childs testing the wine. Love this post btw. š
Ha ha! Thanks, Candace! I will be the Julia Child testing your creations! xo
“I want to use words the way Julia used butter ā to add richness, depth, comfort, joy.” Cosign, Lois. Definitely cosign. We’re living the best of times here in our 50s!
Cosign! (I love that! Thanks for introducing me to it. I’m going to start using it all the time!)
Oh Lois, such beautiful and fun writing! I look forward to each of your pieces and, yes, you use words like Julia’s butter~ š
I’m so glad Karen Karbo linked to your blog, your voice is so fun and inspiring. Maybe we could make “What Would Julia Do” bracelets? I love the way you are truly embracing age and defying stereotypes. Too often, I get lured by an article or blog claiming to embrace age, and they end up telling me how to avoid wrinkles. You’re really living it, with joy and vivacity: thank you! I will be sure to keep reading your lovely blog.