Woman to Woman: Our Exclusive Interview With Author Robin Antalek

Robin Antalek’s debut novel, The Summer We Fell Apart, is one of those rare exceptions to the rule, “You can’t judge a book by its cover.” The cover of this book is so rich and vibrant and beautiful, it’s a dead-on reflection of the writing inside. The story of four siblings in a totally dysfunctional family, The Summer We Fell Apart will resonate with, well, anyone who has a brother or sister. This is a perfect book club choice, revealing so much about each member based on which character they relate to most. Who is closest to the heart of the author? Lois asked that question — and many more — to Robin in this exclusive interview. Read the book, and let us know which sibling is your favorite.

This is such a powerful story about the unique bond – both positive and negative — between siblings. What do you think is so unique about that relationship?   

The story I wanted to tell was exactly that: the lifelong bond you have with your siblings – whether good or bad. Besides your parents, your siblings will know you in a way your partner never will. The voices I heard first when I started to tell this story were that of Amy and George.  George was everything to Amy: her protector, her teacher, her confidante and her friend.  And I’d like to think that Amy was a little of that to George.  Certainly, at least in this family, they were an island unto themselves and that continued to nurture and sustain each of them into adulthood. 

What the book represents so well is the surprising way children growing up in the same family can be so different from each other. Do you think birth order – even just because of what’s going on in the household at those various times — has a lot to do with that or is it just how the genes randomly combine? What kind of relationship do you have with your own siblings?

Oddly enough, I didn’t even consider that my brother could possibly have a different memory than me about something until he and I were talking about a specific time in our childhood.  He remembered it to be an entirely different — and, dare I say, a non-event — while I had been holding onto this as one of my more significant memories for years and years.  That did get me to thinking about how siblings raised by the same parents, in the same house, under the same circumstances, could turn out to be totally different.  I see it now in my own daughters at 15 and 19. They mostly agree on their “memories” but there are a few significant things that they definitely do not remember in the same way.  Of course, that might just come down to the basic differences in the individual: shy where one is outgoing, observant where one is breezy and carefree. Which brings me to birth order: as the oldest, do I identify with Kate Haas?  Certainly I can see why and how she tried to keep “control” of the situation at home.  But do I think it’s predetermined?  Not really.  The Haas siblings all had their roles in the family because they were reacting to the chaos around them and that is where their true personalities came through.  And for the record – my family is not any more dysfunctional than your average family, and my brother (my only sibling) and I, have a pretty great relationship.

I love the relationship between Amy and George. Why did you want to make that particular bond so special?  

Amy and George were the siblings out of that entire family that I saw as the lost souls. While Kate and Finn are struggling with their demons as well, I saw their struggle as way more external, more able to fight for themselves and take a stand — however fragile a base they had to stand on. While Amy and George were essentially these motherless fatherless children who formed an intense bond out of necessity because no one was there to feed their souls, to nurture, to guide them into adulthood.  So these two delicate human beings end up doing for each other what a parent should have done.  And, in doing that, they formed this amazing relationship that will carry them their entire lives.  I knew from the very first germ of an idea for this book that the relationship between these two siblings would be the heart of the novel.

Do you think Kate is most representative of the family’s story? Is that the reason for the gorgeous book cover?  

Kate really and truly tried to hold it together for everyone, however misguided, considering she was constantly vying for her father’s attention. I think Kate originally felt if she could show her father that she could keep the family intact when her mother had opted out — that she would in some way be rewarded with his love.  Instead, her father used her affection to manipulate and destroy everything that was good in her life — and ultimately she never recovered from that.  The cover – ah, the gorgeous cover — I am indebted to designer Robin Bilardello at Harper Collins for truly having that vision.  The lemons in Italy represented a very romantic fulfilling time in Kate’s life — the lemon tree at the house in California, rotting from the inside out — was indeed a metaphor for the Haas family. Kate knew this and she resisted Finn’s attempts to rid the property of the tree.  It had to be her choice to destroy that tree and ultimately free herself from the past.    

It’s interesting that the mom is an actress and the dad a playwright. I know this is generalizing to a degree but I would think artists do need to be more self-centered in some ways and to have more time to themselves, in order to create. How do you think being an artist affects a person’s parenting skills?  

Artists get a bad rap.  I think there is a certain truth to the stereotype that artists are these chaotic, non-conforming, non-bill paying members of society but some of the most successful artists I know are highly organized and extremely specific with an intense vision that blinds them and protects them in this wonderful cocoon.  That being said, I think people with artistic tendencies adopt the quirks of the artist and use it as some sort of get-out-of-adulthood-free card. I’d say that probably applies to Richard Haas and, to an extent, his wife Marilyn.  I also think their parenting skills speak to the times.  When I was a child and teen in the late sixties and early seventies, parents were very, very hands-off.  Add that to the artistic life style that Richard and Marilyn adopted and you have chaos.  Certainly not an environment conducive to child rearing.  

All of the characters in your book are so distinct and so real. How did you come up with them – did you know what kind of personality traits you wanted each one to have or what each sibling should in some way represent? 

I know I risk the chance of sounding mentally unbalanced but Amy, George, Kate and Finn were as real to me as my very best friends, my sibling, and the people I hold nearest to me.  When I began to write it was as if everything I had ever wanted to say, to do, to feel, to learn, came through those characters.  There were days that I felt like I was taking dictation.  That is a blessed writing day.  I didn’t set any perimeters on their personalities — they really and truly evolved. 

I don’t think I should ask you which character is your favorite because that’s almost like asking which of your children you like best! So, instead, which one can you most relate to?   

I have two daughters, and they are each my favorite for reasons that are so unique to their personalities that I could never compare.  I get this question about the characters a lot – especially when I visit book groups because everyone seems to have a distinct favorite.  It’s usually a toss-up between Kate and George – with Amy a distant third.  Poor Finn never seems to come up as a favorite but people do want to know if he is still okay.  For me, George’s story was the most rewarding.  It was a genuine love story between he, Sam and Asa, and I loved being in his head. 

Which sibling’s story was most challenging for you to write?   

I resisted Kate initially and then when I discovered the essence of her true sadness, her devastating relationship with Eli, her failed attempt at saving her brother, ultimately hers was the most heartbreaking story to write in the end. 

Why is Amy’s story written in first person and the rest in third?   

The reader is introduced to Amy when she is seventeen years old.  First person is a very me-centered voice and it seemed right to me that Amy would speak like that, that even over the course of fifteen years — the arc of the book – Amy, as the baby, would always have the first person voice. I tried her in third as I tried all the siblings in first, but essentially their personalities dictated the POV. 

I really want one of Amy’s soft-sculpture birds! I could picture them perfectly, and think you could start a great product line with them! Can you talk about their significance?  

What is more fragile and yet at the same time as free as a bird?  I think that a bird symbolizes Amy’s true essence. And the fact that she is crafting these personalized birds — giving them a story and sending them out into the world — to me is just perfect. Perfectly Amy. 

I thought it was very generous of you to give Marilyn, the mother, a chapter at the end since moms always get blamed for everything, and it was nice to be able to see through her eyes as well. Has being a mom yourself given you a new perspective on family dynamics?   

Every mom deserves her say in the end, doesn’t she? Just as I knew that Amy and George would start the book, I was certain that Marilyn would have the last word.  Non-apologetic — she knows nothing can make up for her lack of mothering of this tribe – at this stage in her life she is grateful for second chances and she recognizes what she has been given. Her adult children also have let go of some of the resentment, anger and confusion of their upbringing, so I think that helps. If being a mom has taught me anything it’s that so many of us need to be more forgiving: of ourselves and the mistakes we make. We are all doing this thing on a day-by-day sometimes hour-by-hour basis.  I’m certainly not ever saying there is an excuse for emotional or physical abuse but I am saying that you just never know until you’ve walked in someone else’s shoes where they have come from and where they are going.

You’ve written lots of short stories and non-fiction but this is your first novel. How different a writing experience was that for you?  

Well, yes, I’ve published short stories and non-fiction – but have also written novels.  The Summer We Fell Apart is actually the third novel I attempted.  The first unpublished novel I consider “graduate school” (read: never to be published) and the second unpublished novel (which I may re-visit at some point) was how I got the attention of my wonderful agent Julie Barer.  I’d have to say the process of writing TSWFA was entirely different from either prior attempt.  Not to jinx any future novels, but I felt in my bones that it was the book I was meant to write and get published. The book groups? The Target pick? The e-mails? I am just overwhelmed and humbled by the response the book has received.

What can we look forward to next from you?

 Ahhh… the dreaded novel number two! Well, after several false starts, I am deep into the story about a family who lives on a private island off the west coast of Florida and a bereft young woman who sets out to find the family she never knew existed after her mother’s death.