I’m a huge fan of Elizabeth Gilbert, as I shared again recently. I follow her on Facebook – hell, I would follow her anywhere – and was intrigued when she posted Maria Shriver’s Q&A with her today. The questions were thought-provoking (and, of course, so were her answers), and she wrote, “Curious how you guys would have answered these questions.”
Well, Liz, ask and ye shall receive. Here are my answers, and hope you’ll all share some of yours!
What does honesty mean to you?
Being authentic. My husband and I have an ongoing debate about this because he thinks nothing is more important than truth, and I think nothing is more important than kindness. You can usually tell someone a hard truth kindly but, if you can’t, I’m sorry but I would always choose kindness instead. That’s authentic to me. I mean, would you really tell someone their baby is ugly?
What makes you feel loved?
Being listened to, being held, getting my feet rubbed.
What is empathy?
Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and feeling their emotion as if it were your own. If we could all do this well, no one would ever intentionally hurt another person or animal, and the world would be a better place.
What qualities does a remarkable man possess? What qualities does a remarkable woman possess?
I realize this question isn’t about the qualities that a remarkable person possesses, and it’s fascinating that it’s different. I guess, though, when it comes down to it, a remarkable man possesses traits that are traditionally considered feminine, like vulnerability and compassion, and a remarkable woman possesses traits that are traditionally considered masculine, like strength and confidence.
What question stumps you?
How can people hate others because of their skin color, their religion or their sexual preference?
What is power?
Being able to make a difference.
What is success?
Achieving your own personal goal, whatever that may be. Success implies effort, which makes it all the more satisfying.
Describe one aspect of your dark side.
I don’t forgive easily, and I hold a grudge longer than I probably should. I have a deep disdain for people who try to limit other people’s rights, and am very vocal about it.
What does integrity mean to you?
Remaining true to your values, even when there would be some kind of reward for abandoning them. As a blogger, integrity means everything to me. My readers know I would never betray their trust by recommending something I haven’t tried myself or something I didn’t believe in. For example, even if a tobacco company or fur coat brand offered me a million dollars to tout their products, I’d have to turn them down.
What is feminine?
Nurturing.
What is masculine?
The desire to solve every problem.
What is a provocative in a man?
The ability to listen and be fully present.
What is provocative in a woman?
Self-confidence.
Fascinating questions AND answers. I’m going to have to think about these. It’s not easy to come up with a quick response to any of them. Thanks for recharging my brain cells!
Fascinating!
I’m with your hubby. I think honesty is truth — but kindness is a very close second in my values system. But not all truth has to be spoken. You DON’T have to tell your friend her baby is ugly. Even if she asks, point blank, “Isn’t she beautiful?”, you can answer, “She is SO sweet!” (which is ALWAYS true). She won’t even notice the difference.
And sometimes you HAVE to be truthful even when it might appear to be unkind, like when someone’s thoughtless behavior is hurting someone else.
Great questions and I loved the answers.
Lois, I love Liz Gilbert, too! She has such wordly and yet, introspective, qualities about her! She is quite an inspiration! And she and Maria Shriever together? Wow, now, that’s some pretty powerful stuff! Thanks for sharing this interview!
I LOVE Maria Shriver – her answers were wonderful! I’m new to Elizabeth Gilbert though and look forward to reading more! So glad you posted this interview!
I love your definition of POWER! Being able to make a difference is such a amazing answer. I totally agree with you…to me there is no better feeling of power than when a action I take makes a positive difference on someone or something. 🙂 Thanks for sharing yourself with your readers.
I don’t know why I just came across this post now – where was I????????? I can’t recall yesterday so I can’t answer this question.
But I love Elizabeth Gilbert AND adore Maria Shriver (did you see her on Colbert? Adorable as ever) so of course I think this is a great post, Lois.’
I think the argument you and Michael have is a tough one. I believe true friendship is based on truth and honesty (at least it is for me), but as you said, being kind is always – ALWAYS – important. So I’m no help with who is right, because I think you both are. Is that possible?
Thought provoking post.
Oh my dear. We are two peas in a pod in some important ways. I loved this view of your heart and soul.
My husband rubs feet like nobody’s business. We trade foot rubs for back scratches 🙂
Kindness and empathy are sorely lacking nowadays. And foot rubs… at least in my house.
Great questions, great answers, great post!
I love hearing others’ viewpoints. I like how you say power is making a difference.
Love these questions (and answers)! Thanks for sharing 🙂
This is so fun. I totally agree with you about the kindness over truth. I never thought of it the way you stated but you are right… you wouldn’t tell someone their baby was ugly!
What a great interview, loved it!
Interesting question and answer session. It’s always interesting to me to hear others point of view on things.
I really enjoyed reading the different answers to these questions. Very intriguing stuff here for thought.
I think I answered the questions very similar to how she answered them. In regards to honesty.. that one is tough. I think honest is good if the person can handle it.
This was a fun thing to do. I love your definition of success, you summed that up pretty great. 🙂
Great questions and fantastic answers! I am off to look up Elizabeth Gilbert now. Don’t throw any fruit at me or anything just cause I don’t know who she is. 😉
Great interview. Those things make me feel loved too 🙂
This is why I love you. Because my answers are so very close to yours. To me kindness always rules, but in friendship I insist on honesty and total trust. Does that even make sense? Ha! No idea.
Love this, Lois.
P.S. I still don’t understand why I’m not receiving your blog posts in my Inbox. I have to wait awhile to either see them on FB or get your newsletters. Hmm..
Love your thoughts on power- Being able to make a difference-very thought provoking! Cannot agree more on that!
Well this one sure makes one think. Thanks for the brain exercise.
Interesting! I love all your answers. I couldn’t agree more with most of it too!
I love all the answers! I agree, being powerful is being able to make a difference.
Maria Shriver is so awesome. Love her!
Love the questions and answers. I’m like you I don’t forgive easily and almost always hold a grudge although it dissipates after time.
Self-confidence is definitely a good trait! Thanks for sharing this interview.