The other night, as we were getting ready to go out, my husband asked me once again if I really needed everything in my purse – a word I use loosely since the bag I carry is closer in size to a small suitcase than to a dainty little handbag. Because my 50-year-old hormones were raging, rather than simply saying, “Yes, honey, I do,” I proceeded to dump the contents to show him exactly what I was toting around with me.
Out poured my wallet (which was bulging with credit cards, frequent buyer cards, bank cards, gift cards, business cards, Sweet N’Low packets), cell phone, tissues, hairbrush, lip gloss, pens, Advil, Tums, checkbook, gum, sunglasses, keys, fragrance and dental floss. All necessities, right? The question wasn’t whether I needed to carry all this – it was why my husband didn’t.
And then the answer became obvious. I was carrying everything we both needed, including his keys, his cell phone, his wallet, his medication and his sunglasses. After a barely audible “hmm,” he offered to hold my bag for a while, and I logged on to Facebook to do an unscientific study of how many of my female friends were lugging around their husband’s stuff. The numbers were staggering. Apparently, when men decided to become the hunters/gatherers, women ended up being the carriers.
What happens, though, when the men and women aren’t together? My husband sticks his driver’s license, a credit card and a couple of dollars in one pocket, his keys in another and his cell phone in yet another – and off he goes. I, on the other hand, usually switch to an even bigger bag so I can throw in a book (what if I’m stuck waiting somewhere?), a notepad (someone might tell me about a great store or vacation spot), my iPod (sometimes it’s necessary to just tune out), tampons (those 50-year-old hormones are unpredictable) and a protein bar (I may need the energy to carry this purse).
Although the motto for both the Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts is “Be prepared,” honestly, who would you rather be with in an emergency? Sure, the guys may be able to build a fire but chances are the females will have snacks ready to eat right out of their bags – along with a book of matches from that nice restaurant they ate in the other night.
A study by Special K Mini Breaks of more than 2000 women in the UK showed that “women see their bags as an emotional security blanket and feel most comfortable when they have everything they may need on them just in case something crops up.” It’s the Let’s Make A Deal approach to life – you never know what someone might ask you for – and it often results in some kind of prize. I’ve made new friends simply by offering a Tic Tac to the person having a coughing fit next to me and providing a tissue to a woman whose child had a bloody nose in the playground.
When I traveled to Australia with Oprah last year (I can’t tell you how much I love saying that), I felt such a strong sense of peace and well-being – not just because I was with the Big O herself but because, out of 302 Ultimate Viewers, 242 were women. I knew if I needed anything at all – sunscreen, a hat, seasickness bands – one of them was bound to have it in her purse.
Someone could do a great documentary about what women carry in their handbags because not only do the contents reveal so much about their personality, but women are usually happy to empty them out and show the world. “Women revealed the deepest, darkest secrets of their handbags to us in this research,” says Louise Davies about the Kellogg’s study. “They certainly didn’t hold back when revealing the weird and wonderful things in their bag. The most bizarre items included a vampire voodoo doll, sex toys and a piano tuning fork! The mind boggles as to why a vampire voodoo doll may come in handy!”
This may explain why men – and children – often find women’s purses so mysterious and intimidating. Ask any of them to get something out of your bag for you, and chances are they’ll simply bring you the whole purse. Who knows what they’ll find when they stick their hand in the abyss? As a movie reviewer, I go to a lot of screenings where security guards – generally male – check bags before letting us in, and I’ve noticed that the bigger my bag is, the less likely they are to actually go through it, especially if there’s any kind of feminine item near the top.
Carrying an oversized bag does have its drawbacks. If only I could have a bag like Mary Poppins did – one which would magically hold lamps and coat racks but still leave me light enough to fly. Unfortunately no one has invented that yet and my bag, which I just plopped on the scale in the name of research, weighs a whopping 8.5 pounds. This may account for the visible dent in my right shoulder which caused my orthopedist’s eyes to light up (“vacation!”) and has always provided a comfortable spot for my children’s heads.
When my shoulder flares up, though, and I need to make a doctor’s appointment – no worries. I have aspirin, my insurance card and an ice pack right here in my purse.
Funny!
But sadly true, thanks!
I always look for the smallest purse I can find something like a pocket on a string. Then I don’t have the bulge in the clothes from the wallet and if anyone wants me to carry something sorry no room. Hubby can have his own bulging pocket and I don’t have divot in my shoulder – they hurt enough from bra strap.
I need a “like” button here!
How many times can I hit the “like” button? I “loved” it!
Alleson, I love the bags from Thailand! Highly recommended.
Congratulations! Wonderful piece. I remember those days – but have also since switched to a 4″x 6″ zippered – around my neck bag which only holds my keys, cash and a few credit cards.
Now only my chiropractor is depressed with the decision – I’m freee!
I love it! So true, you nailed it!! Congratulations, Lois
My purse weighs 5 pounds and carries all my needed items. I also have three sets of keys, one for my apartment building in case my tenants locks themselves out and then keys to all doors of my family and then one key for my house. I have a pad of paper and a book (not included in the above weight) and cellphone and various wallets and little purse to hold some cosmetics. I don’t carry a hairbrush or any hair products (advantage of curly hair). Photos of my grandkids and a list of tenants and their phone numbers and all emergency numbers for each building. Also, a list of all my passwords too. Kleenex also and a pen and my calendar (old school) and coupons and movie passes. I think that about wraps it up. Great article Lois.
Be Prepared. That’s my motto, too. My purse is sometimes even too heavy to carry.
Sometimes I carry a smaller purse inside my larger purse… LOL!
I would carry more in my purse if I could, but it’s heavy enough as it is. Fun post! I might just be inspired to do the same 🙂
You have spelled it out so well why we need a big bag and everything in it. I do actually when traveling slim down to 2 credit cards and the accompanying smaller wallet.
Very timely read for me, I am a handbag junkie! I love “emotional attachment” , that about says it all for me!
Ummmmmm and what happens when you have grandkids. Dear lord one needs wipes for their lovely behinds, for the toilets one must clean for their behinds and for cleaning everyone’s hands afterwards. Let alone the toys, pacifiers, diapers and whatnot. I mean really purses are NOT just for ourselves and our spouses but the entire tribes we care for daily:)))) xxxxoo
I too carry stuff for the entire family — crayons, tissues, etc.
I always have to carry a little of everything in my purse! You never know when you’ll need something!
Haha! So true. My bag currently consists of my wallet, DSLR + flash, batteries, phone, tablet, calendar/notebook and a ton of business cards that aren’t even mine. However it’s often use as the toddler “diaper” bag…extra clothes, pullups, snacks, bandaids, water bottle… and any extra storage my husband needs.
So true! I’ve been trying to carry less as the kids get older, but inevitably when I reach in there I find something that reminds me that my purse is the family handbag.
Really cute bag! lol My husband would never dare put his things in my bag though because he knows I might make him hold it. And of course he’s “too manly” for that *wink *wink
Your Too Funny You Have Access To Everything In Your Pocketbook LOL! My Pocketbook Is Just As Bag It Is Sooooo Heavy With So Much Stuff!!
So funny! I carry so much with me as well. My purse also is a bag that carries stuff for my kids too. SO SO much in that thing!
LOL! You should see my bag right now…I am pregnant and I have tylenol, tums, zantac, stool softener, lotion, mylanta, and other various drugs. If I dumped it out someone would think I was an 80 year old man!
Rather interesting when you go somewhere without kids and hubby… purse is really light!
Great point! We already know lkfe would go to hell ina handbasket without women…but now without our purses they’re sol as well! Lol
Love this post- so true 🙂
Love it. I think I carry half of my life in my purse as well form food to passport just in case
I hear ya! I have the same shoulder dent you do. And yet … it is so hard to downsize. What if I left something behind that I really needed? And that book? Of course I have to have a book with me.
My purse has a little bit of everything as well. It certainly gets heavy- but at least I will never be caught unprepared!
So funny! I am finally at the point where I am no longer carrying around any diapers or baby paraphernalia in my purse. Are you telling me there is going to come a day when I have to start carrying around my husband’s stuff? I will have to make sure to always carry a teeny purse so there’s no room 🙂
Interesting. I only carry my own stuff, and hubby carries his own stuff.
I carry an oversized bag, too, but it’s because I have so much of the kids stuff in there in addition to all my crap. I actually just upgraded to an even bigger one so I could carry more LOL.
This is so interesting! I don’t have a purse but I do have a diaper bag which I carry just about everything in.
That’s the absolute truth! I once wrote a post about a woman’s handbag not being her own!
Wait, I couldn’t read any further past “when I went to Australia with Oprah.” What!!! That’s amazing and I’m super jealous! I need to search your blog for all the details!!!
I’m still in that “have toddlers, need to carry crap” phase… so my bag usually has not just MY stuff, but their stuff (extra clothes, snacks, cups, diapers, wipes) and my husband’s (here honey, hold my ___). Freaking ridiculous and I can’t wait for the toddler phase to end so I can switch to something a bit more purse-like.
I carry a lot of stuff in my purse! Just think of three kids and their needs!
OMG…..this is why I switched to a backpack….my shoulders love me again!
I am packing to go to a conference this weekend! Definitely having a fully-stocked purse!
So, I started commuting on my bike to work about two years ago and had to face the fact that I couldn’t drag a big purse with me. I tried a backpack at first and after two round trips I realized that I was NOT a backpack cyclist type at all. I was forced to downsize to a fannypack. I still have my two big bags at home, still packed with crap that I couldn’t tell you about if I tried. I will NEVER return. Now, I just need to find a few good fannypack variations for looks other than sweaty commuter cyclist.
i’m amazed at times over the sheer amount of stuff that I’m able to fit into one handbag. Do I really need to carry a screwdriver? I don’t even know how it got in there lol.
It is insane all of the stuff that I can cram into a handbag! I really need to take a second and decide, “Do I really need this in my purse?” before adding anything else, lol.
I carry my own stuff, and my husband carries his. I’m usually the one trying to stuff my wristlet in his pocket when I don’t want to carry a purse.
As a mom, I know the whole family relies on me to have what they need at any given time! I’m happy to do it, even if I do have to take some flack about my purse being heavy once in a while.
And if I could name-drop Oprah, I do it every 5 minutes!
That is hilarious. I have a diaper bag well it looks like a diaper bag, that is what I use as my purse.