Okay, I have read and listened and sat back and watched all the controversy regarding The Help. I, too, read the book when it first came out. My Mom sent it to me, and said she was interested to hear my perspective because I’m a white woman married to a black man. She explained that the book was written by a white woman but the characters in the book were mostly black women. She was curious to see how I would perceive the story. First let me say, I thought the book was good — not great, but good. Everyone else on the planet loved it and I only liked it; shoot me. Shortly after I read The Help, I read the modern day version called Substitute Me. To be quite honest, I preferred that book. Interestingly enough, Substitute Me was written by Lori Tharps, who happens to be a black woman.
Now back to the controversy surrounding The Help. I do have the unique perspective of being a white woman married to a black man with a mixed race child. I feel like I can see many different sides of a situation. That being said, I asked my husband the other night if he wanted to go see The Help with me. I should have known what the answer was going to be, but I asked nonetheless. He said, quite emphatically, “Hell no!” I asked why, and he said, “Why would I want to go see a movie about a bunch of black maids getting treated like crap by a bunch of rich white women?!” Yes, that is what he said. Speaks volumes, doesn’t it? I told him about the book, and that the movie had rave reviews. He didn’t care. There was still no way he was going, nor did he have any interest in listening to me explain the plot to him. Black maids … well that was enough to turn him off. I can give you another example of a movie that he despises and I love, and the reasons for the opposite perspectives — Gone With the Wind. I see a classic love story and amazing special effects for the times, and he sees slavery and abuse. So you see, no matter how much we try and sugarcoat things, history is history, and sadly it wasn’t pretty and it still hurts. The difference is, the hurt affects him much differently than it affects me. How could I ever really “feel it” like he does? I can’t. The Help might be getting amazing box office results, but is that because the white audience embraces this story while the black audience is reminded of the painful past?
We still have such a long way to go, and, trust me, my husband and I have dealt with and continue to deal with racism and stereotypes on a constant basis. I have seen my husband falsely arrested with a gun at his head because of the color of his skin, I have seen him pulled over for no reason at all, I have seen people leave an elevator because he is “big, black and scary,” I have had people refuse to shake my hand because of the color of my skin, I have been “shunned” by people, I have seen my daughter called the “n” word. Oh, how I could go on. Our experiences are the “modern day” version of racism, which is nothing like what the women who are portrayed in The Help experienced. We get about an ounce of what they had to deal with, but the sad thing is, we are still dealing with it in 2011.
When writers write, they are creating characters and plots. I’m a writer as well so I understand about writing characters, but when it comes to race, there is such a fine line. I write about the good and the bad of being in a mixed race marriage on my blog The Many Shades of Love, and I try and teach people to look beyond skin color and see into people’s hearts. I was hated for years because I’m a white woman who took another “brotha” from the ‘hood. Now the very people that hated me, love me, because they can see past my skin and into my heart. So, again, my perspective is unique because I truly live both sides of the coin on a daily basis. I will NEVER profess to understanding the full impact of the pain that black people experience due to past and present racism. However, I do understand the pain of the person I love, and the pain of the child I gave birth to. When they hurt, I hurt. That is why I’m so passionate about keeping this conversation alive and continuing to make change.
In the end, The Help is a painful story for the black audience and a piece of history for the white audience. Nothing can change the fact that these maids were “less than” back then, and no matter how much the children “loved” their nannies, and the mothers “appreciated” their maids, these women had no choice and no say — ever. So if black America is upset about this movie, well, I think it’s fair for them to feel that way. More than fair. The Help was still written by a white woman portraying an ugly piece of our history, and yes, it was her experience, but the experience of the maids can’t, and never will, be hers.
I will still go see the movie, and I’m sure I will like it, but I will be seeing this one with a girlfriend. Rest assured, I won’t be convincing my husband to attend this movie – as he said, “Hell, no!”
Want to continue the conversation? Read Lois’ take on The Help here.
Read all about Amy’s book, Believe in Yourself~Inspire Others~Spread Joy, here.
Thanks for sharing your perspective.
if we look away from the stories of the past – how can we learn from them?
Monique you are so very welcome!
Cindy P., I’m not saying don’t talk about the past. We MUST learn from our mistakes. I’m just saying that the author who is white, can NEVER truly understand what these women went through. I didn’t love the book like everyone else did and I wanted to share my perspective because I’m in the unique postion of being in a mixed race marriage. I have experienced things that most white people never have to deal with, yet I still will NEVER feel the pain the same as my husband and daughter when it comes to racism. Just like the author will never truly understand what the maid/nanny that she grew up with went through. We MUST talk about the past, but we also need to make sure that we are respectful of those we are talking about. Does that makes sense?
Thank you both for reading!
Amy Wise
Yes! we need to have an honest dialog about race, about race TODAY, because as you clearly know, racism still exists.
I appreciate your unique POV, but I do take issue with one small point you make: “In the end, The Help is a painful story for the black audience and a piece of history for the white audience.”
Painful story, yes. A piece of history… well, one that maybe has not been told truthfully (?) fully(?). Does The Help accurately depict 1960s Mississippi? we tend to want to gloss over the ugliest images of our past, and ignore that cultural trauma that still reverberates today.
And frankly, this is a painful story for ALL Americans… I find it shameful when we too often treat each other as less than ourselves.
Jennifer,
Thank you for reading and commenting! I agreee 100% this is a painful story for ALL indeed. When I say painful for the black audience and a piece of history for the white audience, I’m using this analogy because the white audience didn’t live what the black audience lived. Does that make sense?
I also agree with you in regards to the depiciton of the past. My husband and I would not have been able to legally marry back then let alone everything else we would have had to deal with.
We have to get to a point as a society where we treat EVERYONE equal. Skin color has NOTHING do with what is inside. NOTHING. It’s so easy but yet we all make it so difficult.
Thank you again for stopping by and taking the time to read and comment!
A.
Thank you for this insightful article. I am also in an interracial marriage, but my husband would never claim to fully understand what it is like for me (and our son). And I also don’t claim to understand what it is like for him.
In order to really move past artifices like skin color, the dialogue needs to remain open and vibrant. I haven’t read “The Help,” but in a way, I’m glad it was written because it has started a thoughtful dialogue everywhere, and people are thinking. In thought is where change begins.
Thanks again.
Thank you for your perspective. I loved the movie but wondered how it would be perceived by a black audience. I am grateful for writers that stretch me and pull my mind to be mindful of others experiences. I am constantly shocked though… I keep thinking that racism is behind us, that no decent person ever thinks this way and then… Really? Thank you for one more tidbit of understanding.
Amy – eloquent as usual. I always enjoy reading your POV as a white woman in an interracial marriage since I’m a black woman married to a white man.
We got notes to compare. 🙂
I love this post you have shared on The Help. I am just now reading the book. I haven’t been so see the movie. For me, I read this book with tears and a heart torn for the people who lived during that time. I don’t see it as a white woman writing about black women. I see it as a woman writing about what she saw. What she lived. She didn’t see color as others did. She didn’t judge, in fact it made her feel sick to see what was going on around her. I see it as freedom. Freedom for these women to have a voice and sound out in a strength that could only come from God.
I love each character in this book. Each of them have a story to tell. A story that was passed to them from generations before. I find this is a story for all to remember, and not forget where we came from and where we still struggle.
I’ve heard about the movie. I want to see the movie. Two of my white friends were disgusted with it because of the racism but I could never get a straight answer as to why.
I’m a black woman married to a white man and we’ve tasted an ounce of the stereotypes and shunning.
I think that will still see the movie with a girlfriend (which is a white woman). Its going to be interesting to see the conversation that comes afterward.
I don’t hold too much of the past to my heart as many others do. It doesn’t hold me back or keep me from loving.
I look forward to hopping over to your Page.
I haven’t decided about The Help. Growing up, we too had a black lady who took care of us while our parents worked. My father respected her and wanted to help her because she was raising seven children alone. I remember many times when he would pay her sons to do odd things around the house. He admitted later that he did so not only to provide him an excuse to give them money but to encourage them to play with us. He brought them into our white world because he wanted us to be accepting and open minded. He never saw the world in black and white. When dear Virginia died, my mother and I wore hats along with her grandchildren to honor her. She was one classy lady. Her daughter told me she never would say aloud what she did for a living. That made me sad for her. I can say that her children and grandchildren are our friends now. They are wonderful people we are so fortunate to have in our lives.
Having said this, I am ashamed of anyone’s arrogance with people they employ to help them, black or white. One of my favorite quotes is by Booker T. Washington: “No race can prosper till it learns that there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem.”
I strongly dislike studying anything about the Civil War, and I hated Gone With The Wind. They both embarrass me.
Amy, I get your husband’s lack of desire to see a film that dredges up pain and anger. There are topics I won’t re-visit for similar reasons. I also understand that it’s almost always controversial when an author attempts to write from a perspective that isn’t really his or her own. But I noticed something else as I read. While I appreciate the themes of courage and coming together to achieve justice, I couldn’t help feeling as though there was a hint of the “great white hope” syndrome creeping in–that the source of courage came from the white woman. Any suggestion that it was tolerant, liberal whites who were the catalysts for change in this country is an outrage.
Thanks very much for your diplomatic and open-hearted perspective on this. And before I go any further into discussion, I just have to say, what a lovely family you are, and your daughter is so beautiful!
I am not married, but I am a white woman and I was in a long-term relationship with a black man for several years. So I identify with your perspective on that experience. And I appreciate what you’re saying here, that watching the movie might be a different emotional experience for a black person than for a white person. That being said, I’m not sure I understand how it is that we are so uncomfortable when a white woman writes black characters but we are perfectly comfortable and, in fact, often praise, a man writing female characters. And how about all of the stories and movies in which horrible abuse and treatment of women is depicted? There is not nearly the same controversy that we are seeing around The Help. I feel like we could just as easily say, that movie is hard for men and women to watch but much harder for women. But we really don’t see that kind of discussion going on in the same way we do when it’s a race issue. What is up with that?
Thank you for this insightful chat. My grandmother was a maid for many years . She was an orphan brought over from England during the war to be married off and to work. She also never wanted to say what she did for a living. She experienced shame for the work and bias from the people she worked for…my grandmother was white. Poor, orphaned and white. She lived portions of her life in a trailer park. She experienced prejudice. Although , I would never state that her experience was anywhere near the “black” experience there is common ground of how people are treated in our society. Not just by the colour of their skin but by their religion and socioeconomic standing. I would also like to say that hispanics, phillipinos, vietnamise and more are treated the same way now as history shows the black were/are in the “history” of this story.
I would say, the same kind of people treat the same kind of workers with the same prejudice they always have… I do not acknowledge great change or progress.
I do however, feel conversation and controversy keep the dialogue alive . I hope all people who hire people to help them domestically or in business take note. Change comes from within you as an individual…are you treating your helpers with the respect they are due? Have we expanded our prejudice to include a much larger group?
Thank you all for taking the time out of your day to read and comment. This is such an important topic. I wish it weren’t, but it’s something that needs to be talked about and hopefully by having ongoing conversation we can continue to make change little by little…..TOGETHER! I would LOVE to see the day when this is a topic no more! I have read every comment and love the different perspectives. We all come from unique experiences and families and this is why we have different views on the book and the movie. Thank you for your honesty, for your compliments, and for understanding where I’m coming from as well. We won’t all agree on everything but I’m sure we all agree that racism needs to end forever, and by passing knowledge instead of ignorance to the generations to come we will be one step closer to unity. It’s ironic that as I write my comment, the commercial for the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial just came on. Amazing! Thank you to all of you for stopping by…..I’m off to have a mother daughter day with Tatiana. Have a beautiful weekend everyone!
Amy
Pain is Pain. I intellectually understand that we do not live in the same body, and because of that we experience different things. But as soon as we separate ourselves into categories we begin the journey of distancing ourselves from ourselves. I am you, You are me. What is done to You is done to Me and vice versa. If I live that truth which I believe in wholeheartedly then I cannot be silent when there is injustice, I cannot look away when “others” are in pain. I must be active in the pursuit of making life on this planet better and more peaceful in the face and presence of the imperfect race to which we all belong. I AM YOU. YOU ARE ME. Injustice starts when, in our hearts and minds, we allow ourselves distance from that truth.
Amy – such a thoughtful and well put commentary on this issue. I agree with so many of the posts by the other readers. One thing I know for sure – until you have yourself experienced something – whether it be prejudice, or a miscarriage, or cancer, or the death of a child – it is almost impossible to understand how it feels even if you deeply empathize with the person. I think we all need to remember this and allow everyone to have their experience and validate it. If nothing else, the book and movie allow for deeper discussion of a terrible time in our history from which we can hopefully learn and better understand our differences but most importantly, our similarities.
Reading the posts on The Help and especially the comments here today fills my heart and opens my mind. What a passionate, articulate group of women we have gathered together. Inspiring, each and everyone of you. Thank you for the gifts you share here.
Amy, I really enjoyed your post. I too, want to see this movie but my husband thinks it’s a “chick flick” (doh) so I am going to have to see it with girlfriends, fine. I wanted to tell you how I really do understand your husband’s feelings about this movie. I am Mexican-American. Born and raised in L.A. My father was raised in Texas in the 1930’s. Let’s just say that Black and Brown were equally discriminated against and believe me, he has some stories. When I first started working in 1975, I was treated with very little respect. Everyone in the corporate world back then was white. I was the little Mexican girl who not only worked there but got lunch for my superior EVERY DAY and ran to the corner to pick up cigarettes for another. I was treated very badly. And I agree with you about never being unable to profess to understand the other’s pain. Here we are in the 21st Century and racism is very much alive. It is hard for someone to identify with the kind of pain your husband feels, and what I’ve encountered … and so many others. But perhaps living your life as you do, loving and kind to all. Not everyone will love you, but that’s ok … continue loving and living your truth. I’m sure you’ve had your share of pain with prejudice coming from both sides. Again, LOVED your post because it was so honest. Thank you.
Thank you for your insight, compassion, and openness Amy. I, too, believe like the writer above that we are all one and that when one of us hurts we all hurt. I know as well that there is a real racial divide over how people are able to view this movie. I am white. Most of my white friends feel that the movie and book are one of the best in that it opens people’s eyes to a painful reality of the past. But I must listen. I do not have one African American friend who thinks that the movie is an accurate portrayal of 1960s Mississippi. I do not have one African American friend who is not insulted by portrayals in the book and movie. I have to respect that and learn from that and understand why that’s the case. The real value in what Stockett has done is that she’s begun a vital conversation. This is a beginning, not a final word.
Amy-
I am so proud of you for writing this blog! And thank you for chiming in on the conversation. The only thing I want to reiterate- you said watching the film was a history lesson for white folks but painful for black. Like I said in my blog, it was painful for me, a white woman, to watch. Terribly painful. Not because I am black or white, but because I am human.
Maybe I’m an idealist, but my dream is to see us evolve to the point where we are all united as human beings, regardless of our skin color or socio-economic status.
Love you, girl.
I read the book, and enjoyed it. Unfortunately, the subject matters covered in the book are relevant today. Overall, the book exposes the hypocrisy and violence that people in power will inflict on others because of skin color. Moreover, when people stand up to those injustices, there will also be a profound price to pay, but in the end, fairness denied to one group is fairness denied to all.
While I do not deny the right of any one, black or white, to see or not see any movie for any reason, I totally disagree with Amy Wise’s logic and reasoning defending her husband’s unwillingness to see “The Help”. I am a white, Jewish American male who grew up during the period when the holocaust was decimating Jews in Europe in horrific ways. My mother’s family in Hungary was completely wiped out. I spend 6 months each year in Israel where I have many friends who are holocaust survivors. One such, takes Israeli students to visit the concentrations camps in Austria each year. No, it is not pleasant to see what Jews had to experience but the horror happened and it should not be forgotten by Jews and non Jews to this day. I visited Senegal a few years back and went to “the door of no return” from which black slaves were boarded ships headed for a life of slavery in the New World. Many black Americans were visiting as well and painful as it was, one told me that it was an experience he would never forget and made him more respectful of his ancestry. The same holds true for Jews visiting the Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C. and elsewhere. I have some understanding of how black Americans might feel because I served with an all white group during the Korean War that was organized in the South and i heard many expletives regarding “N…..” as black Americans were referred to but I also heard many negative expressions of Jews, me, northerners, me, and college boys, me. I have faced discrimination in the army and in civilian life living in New York City because I am a Jew but that does not stop me from seeing movies, plays or reading novels dealing with anti-Semitism. I think that Amy’s husband is missing out if he avoids literature because it is “painful” just as much as gays, Asians, Hispanics, Jews, Catholics, Muslims etc. would miss out if they avoided the history of their ethnic group because of the discrimination and pain their group experienced.
Thank you once again to all of you for reading, commenting and giving honest and open comments regarding this issue. One thing about me is, I’m open to listening to all sides and respecting all sides as long as the conversation itself stays respectful. So I truly appreciate that even when you don’t agree with me, you are explaining why and sharing from your hearts. I want to clarify again what I meant when I said, “The Help is a painful story for the black audience and a piece of history for the white audience.” When I say “piece of history” it IS painful for me as well, but it’s painful because it sickens me that people were treated like animals by other people. For black people it’s painful because it IS what they went through and continue to go through. So yes pain is pain, but like I said in my story, I will never truly know what those maids went through nor will the author. I can empathize and I can make change, but my pain is still not the same and never will be. I would like to respond spefically to Walter. First I would like to say thank you for being so honest Walter. I understand where you are coming from but I want to let you know that my husband isn’t avoiding anything because it’s too painful. He is reminded of inequality every time he is pulled over for no reason, every time he is treated less than, every time he is assumed to be something he’s not. I will give you an example that I didn’t list in my story. We used to own a business and part of the business was deliveries. My husband was helping out with deliveries one day and a lady pulled up to our car that had the business signs on them and told him to slow down in HER neighborhood. Well of course she assumed he was “just” a delivery driver, not an owner, and felt that it was okay (like anyone has the right to disrespect anyone) to talk to him like he had no business doing what he was doing in “her” neighborhood. Um, the funny thing is, he was in OUR neighborhood that we have owned a house in for over 14 years. So because he is black, and driving a “delivery” car in an “upscale” neighborhood….it was HER neighborhood and surely not his! This is constant for him. Constant. Would my husband visit the MLK Memorial? Of course! Would he and has he visited historical places that are important to black history….heck yes! Does he need to go see a movie depicting black women being treated horribly by white women….no. That is just not his thing nor his desire. My way of making change is through my writing and my husband’s way of making change is through his actions. He was just in a stop the violence rally in the neighborhood he grew up in. These issues are very important to him, but this movie is not on his “need to see” list. I have never seen Amistad, Schindlers List, or many others because I get sick to my stomach (literally) when I see humans being tortured by other humans. So each of us feels differently about what we can and can’t stomach or what we have the desire to see. We still to this day have to deal with so much when it comes to race, that he does not need to be reminded of it from a movie like The Help. I hope that helps explain things a little better. So that being said….to all of you that have responded, I have read every word and am moved by all of the comments. Change can be made in many different ways and by keeping the conversation alive, in a kind, respectful way…..well, we are one step closer. Thank you! Amy Wise
PS….sorry for the typos….I need to edit my comments!
I loved your article, particularly because you have the unique ability to look at the world from both aspects — black and white.
I also thought the book was very good, not great, but very good. To Jamie it is a painful reminder of black history and to me it is a painful reminder of white history. My thinking about the book and movie was that blacks might want to read the book and see the movie because they demonstrate how deep-seated the prejudice was up to that time and that this might better help the whites realize this. As I read the book, I was shocked at the treatment of blacks and thought the book did a lot to bring out the
every-day, casual prejudice that a lot of whites did not realize went on. From Jamie’s and the black standpoint, they see this as a painful part of their history and probably don’t want to read a book or see a movie that reminds them of this. To me a best – selling novel and popular movie seems a good way to bring home these messages and hopefully spark more discussion between black and white.
The difference in perspective in Jamie’s and my ideas of the book and movie demonstrate how differently we look at the same thing. Our childhood and upbringing naturally “color” our views and show that both the black and white populations have to work on understanding how to overcome the differences. I think we are moving to wider acceptance of both cultures and Tat’s generation hopefully will not have such a wide difference in upbringing that affects their children’s thinking.
Keep writing on this subject as you are in a unique position to see both sides.
Love, Mom
Mom,
Thank you for your perspective. I am so thankful that you and Dad have ALWAYS welcomed Jamie with open arms. I remember having a conversation with the two of you in Old Town SD and I told you that I was worried not so much about you guys having issues with the racial differences but with our socio-economic differences. Your answer to me was, “We see how happy Jamie makes you and that is all that matters to us.” I loved that moment! Even though you and Dad have political/social beliefs that differ WIDELY from mine, it doesn’t matter when it comes to love and happiness. So thank you for always being there, for always being accepting, and for always “getting me”…..well at least most of the time! =) Love you! A.
Good reading for everyone. Thanks Amy once again good job on a very sore subject.
Sorry! But this story is a perspective about a time in history that is a fact. Black maids. A fact. Jews in ovens. A fact. Potato famine. A fact. 9-11. A fact. This perspective is about how wrong it was, how it was not happening in other parts of the country, and we watch from a vantage point of seeing that the world did change and Barack Obama is president. Let go and take the fiction ride, see the movie, get together with people and talk about it, talk about then and now.
Solrun thank you for stopping by and reading!
Laurie…it is a fact, and it’s a fact that my husband lived, and does not feel the need to be reminded of by going to the movie. We live it in our lives on a constant basis. We talk about it and teach others about it on a constant basis. He just didn’t want to see this movie because of the premise. This would not have been entertaining for him. Again…it is each person’s life experiences that bring about the reactions, and my husband’s life experiences have given him a negative reaction to this movie. I respect his response just as I respect those that enjoyed going to see the movie. Thank you for reading and commenting.
Amy
Fascinating controversy … love this forum for all the comments and opinions expressed! My husband won’t see “The Help” because he thinks it’s a “chick flick” and he has limited patience for reliving past injustices. I don’t agree with him, but I respect his desire to move forward.
I am white, Jewish, the daughter of a physician … I grew up in Memphis, TN and we had a black maid in the house 40 hours a week for many, many years. I think my mother treated her fairly with respect and my parents helped her when she had some troubles. I was a child and I loved her as she became like a member of the household and did so much for me, but I have to admit that I wasn’t very respectful toward her; I regret my behavior and am always looking for ways to make up for it to whatever degree is possible (volunteer work, helping others to realize where tolerance and respect are needed, etc.)
Reading all this, I also found myself thinking about my Jewish heritage, and all the books and movies that have presented the persecution of Jews, especially during WWII. Like with the racial issues in America, it’s painful to watch and realize that our people were treated so poorly. It’s also important to acknowledge that there’s still anti-Semitism in many places around the world. And, we need to accept that it can be hard to feel comfortable where history exists; when I visited Germany a few years ago, I never really felt relaxed. I thought about Nazis and the Holocaust the entire time; I couldn’t help it.
This kind of dialogue and sharing can only help us to become a more sensitive, more loving society. Thank you Substance StyleSoul, for the forum!
Pamela,
Thank you for reading and sharing your experiences about your childhood and heritage. It is so very important to keep people aware of the ignorance that still exists when it comes to race and religion even today. I love that you have taken your experience as a child and realized that you were disrespectful and are now doing all you can to make sure that does not happen going forward. That’s what it’s all about! If we can learn and grow and make change for the better eventually we won’t need websites like mine or conversations like these. Eventually.
Thank you!
Amy
Thanks for this insightful post Amy and I appreciate hearing that there is another person out there who gets physically sick and avoids movies where torture/man’s inhumanity to man (or woman) are depicted. It means I miss a lot of movies!
And AWESOME shout out to @Lori Tharps and Substitute Me as she is amazing and fun and I feel lucky to know her.
One thing that you mention that I have been struggling with as a new fiction writer is the right of the storyteller. My novel came out last year — a story against the backdrop of domestic adoption, (where I have years of experience as the director of a program) but I told the story in multiple narratives. Caseworker, adoptive parents, birth parents, infertile couple, etc. When the book came out, there was a lot of backlash from one of those groups (adoptive mothers). One of the adoptive mothers in my story was not wonderful–she was flawed and selfish and grossly… human. As were many of my clients. But I think people reacted so strongly because I stepped outside of the shoes of my ‘expertise’. I wrote an essay about the Right of the Storyteller, because I think that IS part of the challenge and fun of being a writer. I have never been a man or an electrician or incarcerated or had sex with an underage girl, but I get to try to imagine what would be the life and motivations and repercussions of that, because I am the story and creating this little world… I think some of the reactions came because I wasn’t telling THEIR adoption story.
Anyway, I wonder if it isn’t Stockett’s right to spin her own version of the tale, even if it is uncomfortable? And then it’s the reader’s choice if they want to enter that world.
Final note: I haven’t read nor do I plan to read The Help. I don’t know how to say this without sounding flip, but based on reviews and trailers, it doesn’t interest me. We had a housekeeper who was not warm or wonderful, who frequently told me I was ‘nothing but a nasty little girl’.
Amy, I loved your piece and all of the comments it generated. Race is still such a hot button and while we have come a long ways there is still far to go. Unfortunately, I am not sure it will ever be conquered but discussions like these can only help everyone understand the different points of view and understanding is a beginning.
This was very insightful. The Help has obviously hit a hot button. I enjoyed the movie and thought the acting was out-of-this-world excellent. I did not expect the backlash that the movie has created but I do understand the different points of view that have been expressed. Thanks Amy for adding to the discussion.
Well Amy my husband had the same reaction as yours, and it is so funny because I can see yours saying “Hell No”. I went and saw it the other day just out of curiosity. See my grandmother was the help. On occasion she use to take me to work with her when I was sick and my mom couldn’t find childcare for me. I remember my grandmother bring their daughter home with her many times. I also remember one incident when the husband came into the kitchen and said “Bernie, we just voted and N’s can now go to heaven”. I was so confused seeing that my dad is a Baptist minster and I knew I was saved and always thought I was going to heaven. I waited all day and two bus transfers, and until we were on the #11 bus (ask you husband about the #11 bus), and headed toward our neighborhood to say “Grandma what made that man think you weren’t going to heaven and who had to vote on it.” She never answers me but as I got older I understood, just like I understood her telling us to get our education because “You don’t need to be cleaning other folk’s houses and watching their babies.”
Chandra, It’s always a challenge as a writer to not cross whatever fine line we are writing about. I would love to hear more about your book as I’m an adopted child myself. I’m planning on writing a book about my experience down the road. I need to finish the one I’m writing now first! =) How funny that you know Lori. She is a “She Writes” friend of mine. Such a small world! She is fabulous! I’m still planning on seeing The Help but I have such a different view of it now that I have talked to my husband and so many others about this subject. Interesting that you don’t plan to see it. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!
Linda and Nancy thank you both for reading and commenting! I hope one day we will be able to conquer this issue because it truly is long overdue. There is no reason for it. Skin color has nothing to do with the heart of the person. It’s time for everyone to accept people for who they are and not for the color of their skin.
Yolanda, thank you soooo much for sharing that story! Wow. The heaven story just broke my heart. I can’t imagine what was going through your mind as a child. It’s also very interesting to me that your hubby doesn’t want to see the movie either. This is such a fresh issue for so many people that are still dealing with race on a daily basis.
Again thank you all for reading, commenting, and for being so honest. We all have different backgrounds, religions, races, and ages, yet this conversation has remained healthy and respectful. I truly appreciate that we can have varying opinions with respectful discussions. This is how we learn from each other. If we don’t talk about and share our experiences with others how we will we ever know where someone is coming from and why they have the opinions they do? It’s imperative that we continue this discussion and understand how much still needs to change while making that change together. I LOVE learning about all races, religions, lifestyles etc. Accepting someone for who they are is what it’s all about. You don’t have to live it or love it, just accept it. It’s so easy. Every single person that has read this article comes from an open heart and mind and that is where change begins. So thank you, each and every one of you!
Amy