Okay, yesterday I presented you with 5 truths and a lie about me, asking you to guess which was which.
Some of your comments were hilarious, some surprised me, some made me question my actions.
So, without further ado, here’s the truth about those 5 truths and a lie. Read ’em and weep. Or laugh. Or forget you ever learned the truth.
1. I smoked cigarettes throughout my senior year of high school.
FALSE. Ew ew ew. Cough cough cough. I did try one cigarette behind my locked bathroom door and, thankfully, looked so uncool in the mirror, I never went near one again. Thank you to all of you who couldn’t imagine me smoking. Mary Bird Lanzavecchia, what do you mean you can see a cigarette hanging from these lips?! I will take that as a compliment that you think I’m badass.
2. I wrote a bestselling book.
TRUE. I was hired to write Wonderplay, a guide to activities to do with little kids, along with the two directors of the 92nd Street Y’s Parenting Center in New York. The book sold over 50,000 copies. I don’t talk about it a lot because I was kind of the hired help for it, and it’s out of print now anyway. Maybe one day I’ll be able to say I wrote two bestselling books 🙂
3. I lost a diamond at the racetrack.
TRUE. I get sad just thinking about this. Michael and I used to go to the races at Del Mar every summer, and it would make a better story if I could say I bet everything on one horse, including my diamond. Alas, what really happened is that I looked down at the program and realized that the diamond had fallen out of my engagement ring. The engagement ring Michael bought for me when he was 24. I was crushed. I got down on my hands and knees on the disgusting ground and pawed through all the crap people threw on the floor, but I couldn’t find it. Michael tried to comfort me and promised he’d buy me a new one but I don’t want another one. That was the one that meant everything. I’m getting weepy remembering when he put it on my finger.
4. I bought a TV in college to watch one show, and returned it the next day.
TRUE. Sorry to disappoint those of you who didn’t think I was capable of doing this but Michael and I were dying to watch the “Who Shot J.R.” episode of Dallas. I can’t remember why no one had a TV at the time but I do remember heading to Sears at the Oakdale Mall in Binghamton, buying a TV, watching the show and returning the TV the next day. You have to remember that was a time when, ahem, there were no DVRs, no internet, no Hulu Plus. Thankfully, it was also a time when you didn’t need to have cable installed to watch network TV.
5. I was undefeated in my tennis league.
TRUE. Jeez, ye of little faith. My partner, Sandy “Don’t Mess With Me At The Net” Espino, and I played in a doubles league at the La Jolla JCC, and we won every single match. In other words, we were UNDEFEATED. We humbly dubbed ourselves The Dream Team. Because it’s always best to go out on top, that was our one and only season. We still play a few times a week but just for fun. If you want to play with us, let me know!
6. I threw up in the elevator of my apartment building.
TRUE. I was pregnant with my son and experiencing morning sickness, so Michael and I left wherever we were so I could be home near my own bathroom. We were in the elevator of our building, heading up to our apartment, when I turned to Michael and said, “I’m not going to make it.” We lived on the 34th floor, which felt like it was a million miles away. Michael, in an act of pure love, looked me in the eyes and said, “Go ahead. Just do it.” And I did. I’m sure it’s not what Nike intended when they built an empire on that statement but I felt better and Michael cleaned it all up himself. All these decades later, he’s still my knight in shining armor. And neither of my kids has made me throw up in years.
You are badass, cigarette or not!, because anyone willing to buy a TV for one show and return it has got some serious guts. I’d would have fallen on my knees asking for forgiveness as they were handing me my money back. And then I would’ve stepped outside and lit up a Marlboro Lights 100.
And what does it say that I assumed the only reason you would have thrown up in the elevator was because of liquor?
This was so much fun! Let’s do it again next year!
Ha ha! I was laughing about the liquor assumption, too! Love you, my apparently real badass friend, and it’s a date for next year!
After reading this, I just love Michael! He seems like the nicest, most considerate husband…totally in love with his wife. Telling you to just go ahead and throw up in the elevator… I can’t think of anything a frustrated, nauseous, pregnant woman would want to hear more. Seriously! I had severe all day sickness with both my sons and I totally get wanting to be near your own bathroom. Incidentally, when I was expecting Jack, one night, I was sitting on the toilet lid, leaning over to give Andrew a bath, when a tsunami urge to vomit hit me. I didn’t even have time to stand up and throw open the toilet lid. Poor Andrew!!!! I wound up throwing up all over him. Had to lift vomit covered boy out of tub, clean out the tub, the floor, the wall, put him back in the tub and give him a second bath. Oh, and clean myself up somewhere in there…..He just LOVES for me to tell that story. Not.
OMG I am crying laughing! I can just imagine his poor little face!! Thanks for sharing that story (I won’t tell him) and, yes, I am lucky to have Michael – and lucky that no one else was in the elevator with us that day.
Baaaahhhhhh…. I was sooo wrong and that is sooo cool! I had no idea you wrote a best seller! Belated congratulations :)!
I seriously just choked on my coffee from laughing over the line about Nike. This is priceless and I love when I am right!!! 🙂 not that I am competitive or anything…
Too funny! I’m fabulously wrong and thrilled about that. Cheers to you on a best-selling book. Double cheers to you on the one to come!
(Hoping my new name will keep me free from the filter on your site.) 😀
Yay! You are here! And thanks for the good cheer!
Returning the TV, eh? You are not the girl I thought you were, and I love you even more! Ha! I’m with you on the disgusting cigs. The smell alone makes me sick. Like-minded again!! xo
I had a feeling about the smoking one but as an ex smoker who now can’t believe I ever was a smoker I thought it was possible.
I don’t think Nike had you in mind for that move, others maybe but not that one.
Your husband is awesome!
This was so fun! I was totally off on the best seller….GO YOU!!! 92nd Street Y is fantastic!
I’m zero for two in this game — and here i thought I knew you! I should have remembered the book, but my memory is hardly trustworthy. Great game, Lois, and I bet you fooled a lot of us.
I can’t remember what I said yesterday (it was so long ago!) but it might have been the smoking. Congrats on the book!
I had a feeling it was smoking. But then who would put the red herring at the top of the list?! Fun game and it made me laugh.
Didn’t read the original post but who cares? I enjoy your writing so much that I smiled through this one. You do have a way with words. And I’m glad you were never ever a smoker. Me neither. 🙂
Well I did wonder about the smoking one but I’m not judging! You are too cool with your many talents!
ugh. I can’t remember what I picked. I think it was the TV one — but am thrilled to know you did that. I love it! And glad you didn’t smoke, even for a year.
it was wonderful learning all about you in these new ways. A children’s boojk-very cool!
i love how you share your hilarious life moments with us! I can relate to quite a few of your stories! It breaks my heart about your diamond, but obviously you didn’t need it to have such a great guy…cleaning up puke in the elevator and all. 🙂
Too funny! I can see how we could have gotten that one wrong. Never would have guess that someone would buy a tv for one day just to watch a show hehehe
I think I laughed the most about the television. I feel really bad for the diamond though. That had to suck.
I didn’t start smoking until I was in college. Thankfully, I quit in 2007 and have never looked back.
hahaha I guess so wrong on all of mine. I’ve returned items but not the very next day and not sure if I would have returned the TV. 🙂
LOL! Loved this. The television story has to be the funniest. I just told my boyfriend and he is laughing as I type this. He says, ‘Let’s do that and see if we could get away with it.’
Um. No. 🙂
I woke up the other night without my wedding ring on and about freaked out. I know that feeling.
LOL, now I don’t even remember what I chose. I just picked one because I had no clue. I need to go back and look.
Too funny, love the coming clean! I feel for you when you and the morning sickness, I had it horribly with my youngest and carried convenience bags with me.
The 5 truth plus lie is a very fun post idea to have people reply to. How cool that you were undefeated in your tennis league. Go you!
Congratulations on your best selling book. I picked 5 and I was wrong.
You have lived an amazing life. I would love to have written a best seller!
Haha Omg I love the tv one, I never would of thought that was true! Awesome 🙂
Haha these are amazing, I can’t believe you brought a TV and took it back the next day, that is epic lol.
These are all great. The TV one cracked me up 🙂
It was so nice to read this – its always nice to get to know the person behind the blog lol – I believe you are a funny one, haha! A lot of what you did cracked me up rofl!